Monday, July 30, 2018

4th Time's a Charm?

Gil Bates, Michael Bates, Erin Bates, Zach Bates, Lawson Bates, Kelly Bates
Gil Bates, Michael Bates, Erin Bates, Zach Bates, Lawson Bates, Kelly Bates

"Hands down, three children was our hardest because of their ages."
-Kelly Bates

"After four, it gets way easier."
-Gil Bates

Really? Gil and Kelly raised 19 kids, and yet they say that their most challenging stage of parenting was when they had just three. Why do you think that is? In the scene below, Kelly takes Alyssa out for a day of pampering before Zoey's arrival.


Photo/video courtesy of UP

22 comments:

  1. I love these two!

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  2. Every parent I know with four or more kids says the same thing!

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  3. Haha, actually, I think, Gil was being commical when he said that after four it gets way easier. Alyssa sure develops a deeper voice near the end of her pregnancies. It happened after baby #2 and #3 for sure!

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  4. You know, I have genuine respect for Kelly Jo. I realize that we only see what is presented publicly and I certainly don't put her on a pedestal. But she seems to be truly invested in every single member of her family. She appears to be very patient, compassionate, and joyful! In the video clip in this post, you can tell she's anxiously awaiting the arrival of sweet Zoey Joy and yet she's focused her attention on Alyssa and doing what she can to make her more comfortable in those final days of pregnancy. I've seen her do the same things with Whitney and Erin and I'm sure she'll be that way with Tori, too. (And it's a daily prayer that one day, she'll be able to show that same end-of-pregnancy attention to sweet Michael!) I'm so thankful for this blog and how it allows to me to watch the little video clips and whatnot, since I don't have television service.

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    1. Tee -- you can watch episodes on UP Faith & Family: http://upfaithandfamily.com

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  5. My cousins who have four children say that the first one or two are the most time-consuming because you are their everything. Then the older children can play with the younger ones and you get a real family approach. I am grateful to have one child but it is a wonderful thing to have a big crew!

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  6. Nice to see Kelly and Gil in shorts!!!

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  7. That's what my parents also said. Numbers 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 were easy compared to only having 3😊

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  8. Brooklyn looks alot like Erin in this picture! 😁

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  9. Because of their ages? It's because the older ones were still too young to sluff the work off on them. The parents had to do everything at that stage....just be honest here.

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    1. So you don't think that children should have responsibilities or work as members of their families?...I do. Everyone should work in a family to improve the quality of life for the whole unit. That's my opinion anyway.

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    2. Their kids still weren't that old when they had numbers 4, 5, 6, etc. "Sluff"ing work off on a kid? When your child hits five years old or so, they just don't need as much help. They can get dressed, brush their teeth, go to the bathroom, pick out their clothes (sometimes!), clear their own place at the table, put away their own toys, etc., etc., etc. That's not the result of a parent just dumping all the work on the child, that's the parent teaching the child how to be independent. Kids should learn how to work and be a contributing member of the family. Slaves, no, but they should learn the value of helping the family out, not selfishly waiting for mom and dad to do everything for them.

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    3. The kids should have household responsibilities. Chores and babysitting are to be expected and help them develop life skills. Older siblings should not be assigned a younger sibling from birth and then be primarily responsible for their physical needs on a daily basis. It leads to hard separations for the little ones when the older kids marry and leave the house. We saw this with Judson and Tori and Michael and Callie as well as with Jill Dillard and Jennifer Duggar. Kelly had a blog post saying that Judson would be Tori's partner once born and that Tori was the only one to know his gender while en utero. Their parents chose to have children not the older kids.

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  10. With 3, you go from man to man defense to zone defense! Once you get that down every other child is a piece of cake!

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  11. It’s an interesting theory but I don’t think I will be testing it out. 😂 I’ll stick with my current 3 even though I agree...it’s ridiculously hard some days. Of course, two of mine are autistic and the other one is rocking the terrible twos so we’ve got a lot going on. Laughter is so important when life gets overwhelming and that is something I see in the Bates. It’s what makes them so relatable and fun to watch.

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  12. Dear Ellie, I very much wish you could go back to your previous format on your blog Nashville wife. I miss the original style of the format and the way people leave comments.

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  13. I am concerned that there is a subtle message here... that you might as well have 6, 10, or 19 children as it's easier when there's more as opposed to fewer. It may be easier, but it's because the older ones are helping to care for and entertain the younger ones. I don't think that's a good reason to keep having one child after another. There are a lot of folks out there who would not make fit parents, but may try to emulate the TV Christian mega-families, thinking that it's Godly to have many children.

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    1. You’re right, older children do get more work. But I know from experience as the oldest of eight that even though it is hard sometimes, you gain much more experience with the responsibility that will be used all your life. It’s worth it because I look at my little brothers and sisters and think that if my parents decided one or two or three was enough for them, those other little souls wouldn’t exist at all. Also, I was born nine months to the day after my parents’ wedding...thanks for not waiting Mom and Dad! 😂

      When you look in the Bible, having many children was naturally considered a blessing. But it’s also a blessing to just have one, and if you have none that’s okay too (not trying to hurt those that struggle with fertility). I don’t think people need to try to have as many children as humanly possible, or try to prevent them. God knows what is best for us. He can open and close the womb. :)

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  14. I had a father of 10 tell me this when I was pregnant with our third and it was such an encouragement to me! We just had our 4th so now I get to see if it's true 😂

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  15. My mom had 3 kids 2 in and half and under and no problems.

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  16. We wanted and have two children... no more, no regrets.

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