Thursday, March 15, 2018

'Big Decision, Bigger Opinions' Recap

Bringing Up Bates "Big Decision, Bigger Opinions"

  • The entire family is in town, so they all gather at Norris Dam for an outdoor dinner. While setting up the food, Gil comes across a stack of envelopes. He tries to keep them a secret, but Kelly and Erin are onto him.
  • Kelly can’t contain herself. “What is that?” she demands. “Just give me mine, please!” An engagement? A new baby? Or maybe Nathan or Lawson have girlfriends?
  • “I knew right away when the cards went out that this wasn’t ours,” says Zach. “At least I looked at Whitney real sure, and ya, she was sure. And Erin’s already pregnant.”
  • Inside the envelopes is a card with a poem: “10 little fingers, 10 little toes, 2 little eyes, 1 little nose. Put them together and what do you got? Our baby on the way, ready or not! Due April 2018.” Alyssa is pregnant and due just a few weeks before Erin!
  • “I’m not going to lie, I was very surprised when I found out that I was pregnant again,” says Alyssa. “I am excited, but it did take me a little bit to be like, ‘Oh my goodness, I’m pregnant again. I’m having a third kid.’”
  • “When the announcement came, a lot of people were secretly hoping, maybe this is Michael making an announcement here,” says Zach. “That’s gotta be so hard.”
  • Alyssa had shared the news with Michael ahead of time by phone. “She was just really sweet and sensitive to call ahead of time knowing everything we’ve been going through,” says Michael. “And we were just really tickled for them.”
  • Before the Bates leave the park, Kelly reminds the girls not to overwhelm Tori with too many opinions while she is trying on wedding dresses.
  • The next day, the ladies arrive at Renee’s shop for goodies and girl time. Tori has her hair and makeup done while the other girls try on bridesmaids dresses. “For me being a sister-in-law, it’s just really special that Tori included me,” says Whitney.
  • The bridesmaids gowns are gorgeous. Renee has sewn three different styles (all long length) in the same color (a beautiful shade of purple). Each girl chooses the style they want to wear.
  • After Tori is all dolled up, she starts trying on bridal gowns. The first dress is fitted, has long sleeves, and is lacy with a champagne-colored layer underneath.
  • “I’ve been to those wedding dress fittings, and, hey, I’ve tried to tell them, you try on one you like, don’t try on another,” says Lawson. “That’s just like, if you find a girl you like, stick with her. The shopping is over.” Nathan agrees.
  • The second dress is similar but is pure white and has a heavier lace. Most of the ladies strongly prefer this dress over the previous one, but Tori prefers the first. She tries on another pure white gown, but she still really loves the first dress.
  • Tori ends up choosing the first dress, with a few small changes. “Looking up there at her and seeing my little tomboy Tori, and I’m thinking, ‘Where did the years go? She’s fixin’ to get married!’” says Kelly.

51 comments:

  1. I don't understand how a young married woman who does not use birth control can be surprised when she becomes pregnant. Especially the third time around.

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    1. A lot of people use breastfeeding as a form of birth control, so she may have been doing that, and her cycle hadn’t started back up before she got pregnant again.

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    2. How do you know she doesn't use birth control?

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    3. Because a woman can only conceive on certain days of the month.

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  2. I do think it was very kind of Alyssa to give Michael the heads up on the announcement before she made it to her family. Shows that she is considerate to her sister's feelings considering what she is going through.

    Thanks for posting these recaps as it's how I keep up with the show (as I can't watch it when it airs.)

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  3. Who was the gentleman wearing the blue shirt that was seated behind the sofa during the dress fitting? Maybe I missed who he was if there was an introduction...

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    1. That's Renee's fiance. :)

      Ellie

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    2. Thanks for the exclusive "scoop"! =)

      Hmmm...am I the only person below age 40 these days who still uses that word?

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    3. I think it'd be a lot of fun to see Renee try on her dresses from her own store!

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    4. Just wondering: why is Renee's fiancé there? Wasn't it a ladies only occasion? I mean he's not even part of the family...

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  4. Ellie- why can I not swipe thru your blog posts any more?
    I view this site on my phone and have always swiped to get from post to post and now that is not happening. Something has changed on your blog format- can u change it back- this is so frustrating!!

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    1. Is anyone else noticing that?

      Ellie

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    2. Yes, actually I tried just now (on my phone) and it didn't allow me to swipe. I've been using the arrows on the bottom.
      Alexandra

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    3. Yes now that you mention it.

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    4. Yes, I’ve had that problem too.

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    5. I can't anymore either and I use my phone as well.

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    6. Yes, I noticed that too.

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    7. Yes. I’m thinking it’s blogger.

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    8. It's much better like that, I hated the swiping feature.

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    9. Yes, it is happening on my Samsung S7 Edge. Within the last two weeks none of your videos open either! Becoming very frustrated. My phone automatically updates so my apps are all current.

      Something has changed and not for the positive!

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  5. Time 11:28PM
    What a great recap of this episode.

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  6. I thought it was very sensitive of Alyssa to talk to Michaela beforehand so the announcement wouldn't make her feel bad. And for those who speculated about Alyssa's comment regarding being happy with just two for now, she addressed that when she said she was surprised to find out she was pregnant. Nuff said on that topic.

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  7. I love Aylssa being so considerate of Michael, and calling her ahead of time, so it wasnt a huge drop on her. I love how Michael isn't upset or angry or has resentment towards her sisters she is happy and knows that its all in the lords timing. I also love Lawsons point on wedding dress shopping but sometimes you have to try more dresses on to be sure. Tori looked amazing in the dress. I feel i know how Aylass and Erin felt, when i found out i was pregnant with my son, was around the time my SIL should have been having her 2nd child but miscarried, the April before. I was so scared what she would say, but she took it in, congratulated me, and a few weeks later told me she was preggers too. So when people asi how many nieces and nephews i have i say 4, 3 here on earth and one in heaven.

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    1. 11:02- You really have no idea what someone who's challenged with infertility is really thinking. I remember well trying to put on a happy face and rejoicing when others were pregnant. The pain and grief were still there, however. Platitudes such as , "It will happen in God's timing", did not help at all. I never believed, and still don't, that God has a stop watch and a clipboard, picking and choosing a starting lineup in the baby-making race and randomly making some wait while eliminating others altogether. There are too many unfit parents in this world for me to think otherwise.

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    2. I actually do know what it is like, thank you very much

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    3. I agree with you. Michael likely feels mixed emotions for her sisters, but only shows the good side. That's how they were brought up. I feel upset when people tell me they're pregnant, but I always put on a smile and tell them I'm excited for them. I've been trying the same amount of time as her.

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    4. I think what you said was just fine. 11:02 pm.

      I have also had a miscarriage between 1 and 2. I had made the announcement at work, then a couple days later miscarried. A co-worker announced the next week she was pregnant. she confessed to me that she was not sure how I would react. I told her I am sad about my miscarriage, but that is very separate from your news; I am truly very happy you are pregnant especially since yall have been trying for years.

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  8. There’s something about Brandon I just can’t quite put my finger on....

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    1. I agree that there is something about Brandon... I sometimes think he's trying too hard for the camera to think carefully prior to speaking and be sure he's attentive to Michaella at all times. IDK?

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    2. He is just trying to represent well. He also has prim and proper manners. He is not as relaxed as the Bates men.

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    3. Are you implying he's putting on an act and he doesn't really care about Michael that much? I don't get that impression at all, though he's obviously not very comfortable in front of the cameras.

      I'm sure that much like Michael herself, he's stressed out and frustrated about the situation, trying to suppress feeling envious, and maybe wondering why they're not "blessed" with a baby after following all the IBLP rules. That doesn't mean he doesn't love Michael anymore.

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    4. I think Brandon is a wonderful husband. He is so loving and kind. He is a thoughtful kind of person and doesn’t just say the first thing that pops into his mind. He seems to always weigh his words first to make sure what he is saying comes across the right way.

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  9. For those of us who aren't able to watch - please share who is pregnant....

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    1. It's Alyssa.

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    2. It was Alyssa’s pregnancy announcement for Zoey Joy! (Her third daughter)

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  10. I don't understand why Alyssa is surprised that she is pregnant again. They presumably don't use birth control so guess what happens when you don't prevent pregnancy?? Ya get pregnant!

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    1. As others have noted in a reply to a similar question: (1) Alyssa's changed a lot since marriage, maybe her beliefs on BC have changed or (2) she was depending on breastfeeding as a "natural" method of birth control or (3) she hadn't gotten her cycle back before she got pregnant.

      Or maybe she just didn't feel ready to get pregnant, and so she felt surprised when she did, even though she knew it could happen. To me, that's the feeling I got from her comments.

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    2. Um...guess you're not familiar with natural family planning? We practiced it and all 4 of our children are spread out two to three years. I have had friends who got "surprised" with pregnancies when they were using birth control.

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    3. Anon at 12:34AM: I posted before you at 7:20PM. I guess it's possible the Websters were using NFP. I didn't include it as an option because most evangelical Christians who are "quiver-full" or close to it, reject NFP, for various reasons.

      One is that most people think of NFP as a Catholic thing. Or they think it goes against the Biblical verse about not withholding from the marriage bed except for a very short time for reasons of prayer. Or think doing that increases the risk of being tempted to have an affair. Or a combination.

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  11. So it seems the Bates definitely approve of dating now? Albeit still with chaperones. The single boys expressed on the show yesterday that it's ironic that their sisters are getting married and having babies and "we're not even dating yet". And Carlin spoke openly of "three girls dating at the same time" on the Triple Date episode.

    Now I have nothing against the concept of "dating with a purpose" in a Christian way. However the Bates attitudes toward the D word seem much changed from when they first showed up on TV. Michaela's courtship story, posted on the Keilen's website, indicate that she and Brandon were totally platonic friends before their courtship, although she was pining for him, and when Gill told her a young man wanted to court her, she didn't even know it was him!

    Though Brandon's family is pretty high up in the IBLP hierarchy. And the new crop of suitors for the Bates girls don't seem to be. Certainly Bobby isn't, as the whole courtship idea was new to him.

    Anyway this is a big change in their beliefs, if true. It would be nice to have that explained. Maybe they think they're NOT going to find spouses for all their kids if they keep insisting on such strict courtship rules. But the Duggars haven't relaxed their rules yet and they have just as many kids to narry off.

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    1. They have said before that each young adult sets their own standards, so that's why it looks different.

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  12. The Bates family 'uses' the term dating, but it's nothing like dating. The guys still have to go through Gil to ask permission to just say 'hi' to his daughters, the parents are in control of it all, make no mistake here. They may CALL it dating, but it's courting, etc. just like the Duggars.

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    1. Doesn't that infer that Gil doesn't give his daughters credit to know for themselves whether a guy is good enough for them? What if they meet a boy at college and Gil hasn't met him yet? Are the not allowed to even talk to a guy without Gil's permission? That is even more archaic than I imagined.

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  13. I'm so sorry for Mickaella, I know she's happy for her sisters but it's must be hard for her...
    géraldine

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  14. I still felt a punch in my gut for Michaella. Especially when they asked her if it was her that was pregnant. If your being so sensitive to her feelings why make everyone speculate who was pregnant? I thought it was insensitive of Alyssa. A better way of announcing it. If you have struggled with fertility you understand. Michaella seems like the type to put on a brave face. She looked hurt to me.

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    1. Agreed. I think if there's someone struggling fertility, maybe don't make such a hoopla when a sister gets pregnant.

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  15. I did not see Ellie at the bridal shop - was she ill or perhaps away then?
    Hope she was OK.

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    1. Hi there,

      Thanks for your concern. :) I stayed behind the camera. I'll have exclusive photos for you tomorrow.

      Ellie

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    2. I should have been more clear - I meant "little Ellie

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    3. LOL. Ellie Bates chose to stay behind to get some uninterrupted time with her nieces and nephews.

      Ellie

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  16. Anon at 6:29AM: Do you actually know the Bates personally? If not I don't think we can say they are "just like the Duggars". I admit I don't know either family, and what they show on TV may not reflect how they really are. Maybe the Bates want to be seen as "Duggar-lite" to appeal to a more mainstream audience.

    But I can think of many differences between the 2 families. They Bates allow for non-side hugs before marriage. The relationships seem to take about a year and change to arrive at the altar. Not the 2 months courtship + 3 month engagement Duggar model.

    But I guess all that could be staged. But it's not staged that many of the Bates women work for a living, albeit in jobs that are traditionally considered feminine (realtor, house cleaner, seamstress, piano teacher, schoolteacher, beautician). But the Duggar women don't work outside the home at all. So there are clear differences.

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