Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Prayers for Zach and Whitney

Zach Bates, Whitney Bates, Bradley Bates, Kaci Bates

In mid-June, we shared news of Zach and Whitney Bates' vow renewal. On that day, Bradley Bates and Kaci Bates announced to family and friends that their mommy was pregnant. But soon after, the expectant parents were told at an obstetrics appointment that their baby had stopped growing. We know they would appreciate your prayers, as they still hope to grow their family.

Photo courtesy of Zach and Whitney Bates

85 comments:

  1. Oh no! I will definitely be praying for them. ❤️

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  2. I will pray for you - I'm so sorry.

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  3. I’m so sorry to hear this news. I will keep them in my prayers.

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  4. So sorry for your loss, Zach & Whitney! Praying you feel God’s nearness and strength

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  5. This is why it makes me mad when people make comments like “I hope they don’t plan on having more kids anytime soon”. When you hear something like that after losing a baby it’s like a stab in the heart, so if you have an opinion on whether or not a couple should continue to grow their family, please keep it to yourself.

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    1. I agree with you 11:37. Honestly such comments should never be allowed to go through because you never know if a couple is expecting already. It doesn't matter if a person is "entitled to their opinion". It's wrong to say such things. I hope there won't be mean comments about Whitney losing her baby.

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    2. Or when everyone is critiquing each picture and post for hints. You don't know what their private struggles are. Just give them space and let the Lord do His work.

      My brother and his wife announced one Christmas they were expecting again. Sadly they too lost that baby shortly after the announcement.

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    3. I agree. I would also add that comments saying that it is time for the couple to have another baby or asking directly them when they are going to have more children is equally hurtful. One of the reasons why Whitney and Zach announced the miscarriage was people continually asking when they would expand their family.

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    4. That's good advice. People just pray.

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    5. Couldn't agree more :)

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    6. 2:15, I’m the OP and totally agree with you. I will never forget when someone jokingly asked my mom “when the next one was due”, not knowing she had just had a miscarriage

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    7. OP/8:35 - It's 2:15 again. I'm so sorry your mother experienced a miscarriage and then that unnecessary comment so soon after. I just wish people would let couples share news when they are ready. The public isn't entitled to know the status of anyone's womb. Questions relating to fertility and family planning are personal and the answers can be complicated and painful.
      I also wanted to write again that I wholeheartedly agree with your original comment.

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    8. So true! It is no business but the couple’s if they want more kids. As far as I know they are not relying on welfare to support their family. We need more children who are wanted and raised to have respect and good values.

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    9. Momofchickie, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your niece or nephew. I'm praying for your brother and his wife. Not sure how long ago their loss was but those kinds of wounds never completely heal.

      And I agree with everyone here, questions such as that are not appropriate. It's both well known and obvious that I absolutely adore children. Occasionally, I will get a comment from someone asking when I will have children of my own. Well, three years ago, I had to have a medically necessary but emotionally devastating hysterectomy. Having children will never happen for me. I don't understand why this is the road the Lord has me walking but I trust Him, so I know there is a purpose behind this pain.

      I will NEVER forget one specific incident. It was maybe three months post-op, so the grief was unbelievably intense and very fresh. I went to Wal Mart with my Mom but I was still having quite a bit of pain from the surgery, as there were many complications. (I also have gastroparesis, a condition that is essentially a paralyzed stomach, so that causes quite a bit of abdominal pain.) At one point, I rested my hand on my stomach and told my mother I felt like I was about to throw up. A complete stranger overheard us and looked up, saw me with my hand on my stomach, and squealed. "Oh, when are you due?! You've got morning sickness, I'm so sorry, but it will go away!" And I just burst into tears right there in the middle of the store, right by the fitting rooms. Started bawling. That woman looked so confused and I couldn't even pull myself together enough to explain anything to her, so my mother did. I know it was completely innocent, that she never meant any harm, but it WAS harmful. I cried myself to sleep that night and wouldn't go back out in public for a good while. Perhaps it sounds like an overreaction but I was only 34 years old, so very young to have had a hysterectomy and be thrust into menopause, so very young to lose the only real dream I ever had in life.

      And if I could add to this thread of "please don't say this because you don't know what someone is going through"... PLEASE DO NOT tell someone they can "just adopt." First of all, there is NO "just" in that sentence. Adoption is not a "just." Adoption is not a replacement for having a child. It is an entirely separate way to grow your family and it is beautiful and precious and ever so special, anything but a "just." And second of all, no, not everyone can "just adopt." I have ALWAYS had a heart for adoption and had always planned to extend my family through adoption, but not a single mother and I'm unmarried at the moment. Furthermore, I would really struggle to adopt because I have quite a few very serious chronic health problems. (Such as kidney disease that has left me in kidney failure.) Most adoption agencies, or even the state/foster care, would not accept me because of my health problems. So no, I cannot "just adopt" and there are certainly others that cannot, either. I will never be a mother, not via biologically giving birth, or via adoption. And that causes me more pain and heartache than I could ever put into words.

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    10. I am so sorry, Tee, for everything you have been through. I can relate to a lot of your story. I had a dermoid cyst the size of a cantaloupe and stage 4 endometriosis. It caused excruciating pain and I had to have a hysterectomy at age 32. I also have had continuing health problems. So many people tell me I can “just adopt “. It’s not that simple for some people. I also have gained weight due to the sudden hormone changes and have been asked if I am pregnant. I try to be gracious but have to wonder how people can be so clueless. Praying for you ❤️

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  6. So is the baby still alive but has stopped growing?

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    1. I'm wondering the same thing? Is the baby alive but not growing or miscarried?

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    2. No, they miscarried.

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    3. Babies quit growing in the womb, because they have passed away.

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    4. They tell you that the baby has stopped growing, because it’s supposed to be less “harsh” than saying your baby is dead. Either way, it hurts. I went through the same thing almost 2 years ago and while it does eventually get easier to process, it never stops hurting.

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  7. I am extending my sincere heart felt prayers to Whitney and Zach. I too miscarried my third pregnancy and the lord was with me and I had two more children.

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  8. Very sad. So sorry. Miscarriage is just terrible to go through, and my thoughts and prayers are with Whitney and Zach. Awww. I figured she was expecting when they had their vow renewal at 4.5 years, rather than at the 5 yr mark (and that she wanted to include her biological parents, who were not at their original ceremony).

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  9. I hope she gives her body a rest for a few months. Miscarriages happen but it doesn’t mean that she can’t haveanother baby. If not, they have 2 beautiful children already. Some people are not so lucky.

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    1. I agree with you. Some women are never able to have any children at all. Whitney already has two and she has a boy and a girl.

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    2. This is about them NOT other people! They already know their blessed! Enough with comparisons!

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    3. Really? You couldn't just say thinking of you in your time of need.

      What I get from your comment is that you think because they have two children and some people dont have any that Zach and Whitney shouldn't have anymore.

      I'm sure her doctor told her the amount of time to wait before they try for another baby.

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    4. So it’s ok to discount their grief, just because they have 2 children? How very cold-hearted!

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    5. The OP's comment is very uncalled for. They are allowed to grieve even though they already have two children.

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    6. 1:51 - I dont think the poster meant that they cant grieve. I believe it's more like grieve but remember to count your blessings. After a miscarriage, I have friends who can move forward and those who years later can not. The main difference in them in being grateful for what they do have. And what they do have is their health, each other, and two healthy children.

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    7. I’m the OP. I did not express myself well. Of course my prayers go out to Zach and Whitney!! It is so hard to lose that baby. I’m praying for them.It is hard to convey feelings when responding in print. I did no mean to sound callous. I did not mention that I suffered 2 early miscarriages between my first and second child. We had fertility problems and ended up with just two loved children 5 years apart. I am so grateful to God for them. I pray God blesses Zach & Whitney. They are such a sweet couple. I pray for Michaela too.

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  10. Your family is in my thoughts. I am sorry for your loss and hope you the best for whatever is best for each of you and your family.

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  11. My heart breaks for them. I'm so sorry for the loss of their baby and I will pray comfort for them. Thank you ladies for letting us know.

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  12. Such sad news. Praying for their loss.

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  13. May God give us peace in sorrow, consolation in grief, and strength to accept his will in all things.

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  14. Sorry as always you will be in my prayers

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  15. your family is in my deepest prayers!

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  16. I'm so Sorry for your loss. Prayers for them.

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  17. Praying for Zach and Whitney.What a precious couple they are.God bless their precious family

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  18. Prayers for the Bates family. Zach and Whitney my thoughts are with you.

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  19. Oh im deeply sorry prayers for whitney and zack i know how they fell i have lost 2 babies prayers

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  20. I'm so sorry for their loss, a mother never quite forget their lost angels. It has been 31 years since I lost my twins and I still think of them everyday.

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  21. Praying for you

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  22. Sorry to hear if your loss. Peace if God be with you! ��

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  23. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. I've lost 2 babies myself and know the heartache.

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    1. Love thoughts and prayers for this sweet family!

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  24. 😢 so sorry for your loss. My heart aches for your family. Semding prayers for all of you and your family.

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  25. Praying for the family during time in their lives.

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  26. So very sorry for your loss. I've lost all four of mine so I know the pain and sorrow. Let Gods love wrap you in peace right now and take time to heal. God bless you all!

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  27. So sorry for your loss. Praying for strength.

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  28. Prayers going up! I know you have a lot of faith, God will hold you in His hands.

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  29. So sorry to hear this. Sending prayers and hugs to Zack and Whitney and all of the Bates family.

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  30. My prayers are with you and your family.

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  31. I too sympathize very much with you, Zach & Whitney! We’ve lost 5 pregnancies, and it didn’t matter how far along we were, (one at 6 1/2 weeks, one at 9 weeks, one at 18 1/2 weeks, two at 19 1/2 weeks) it was a big loss. And although other babies may come along and bless your home, (and help to heal the heartache) they never replace the losses that you had. Each baby is it’s own precious little being. May God hold you in his Everlasting arms.

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  32. From one angel Momma to another I am so sorry for your loss. Praying for you as you go through this grief.

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  33. I have felt this pain. Praying for peace that passes understanding.

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  34. I hurt for the kids as I lost three of my 'to be' siblings thru miscarriages. May God hold you close during this time of uncertainty...

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  35. Prayers being said for Zack and Whitney.

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  36. This is so sad, especially if Zach and Whitney felt compelled to make the news public because of people speculating and gossiping about their family plans. I feel the same way about Michael and Brandon's infertility struggles. I recall people openly speculating they were using birth control because she didn't get insta-pregnant on the honeymoon, only to wind up with egg on their faces when Michael revealed the truth.

    This is why I always take exception when people confidently predict "So and so MUST be having a baby soon" or "So and so aren't pregnant so they MUST be using birth control". Not just about the Bates and Duggars, but in general.

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    1. What does it mean to take exception?

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    2. I don't think they felt compelled to make the news public because people were asking for news.
      I think they just wanted to share so that other people who go through similar struggle know that they're not alone.

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    3. To "take exception" means to disagree with something, or to be offended by it. Think of it as the poster wants to be separated from the idea or those who believe it -- as in she is the exception to people who believe a specific thing, or would say a specific thing.

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    4. 1:30 - take exception is hold back comment due to the exceptions. In essence to remember that there are exceptions to rules or it this case why someone has not conceived.

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  37. I am so very sorry. It is a loss that will really never leave your heart. But over time the pain does lessen. I had 8 lost babies, I think of each of them on the days. We found oUT about thme because it is less painful then to remember the days we said goodbye. God be your family as you heal.

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  38. So so sad for Zach and Whitney. I do hope that Whitney has received guidance and moral support from Kelly and Erin because both have been through it too.

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  39. Dear Whitney and Zachary, I am so very sorry for the loss of your little one. Be gentle with yourselves in the days to come and have peace knowing that your little one has seen the face of our Lord. Blessings to you are your awesome family.

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  40. Thats so sad and terrible to hear. Good vibes going their way.

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  41. I had three kids with no problem and have now had three losses where babies stopped growing at 8.5 weeks. It is so deeply tragic. I am so sorry.

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  42. I am truly sorry to hear this! Keeping them in my prayers!

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  43. Our family will pray for you and your family

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  44. Sending you love and light to surround you all and hold you through your good and bad days.

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  45. So sorry for your loss. Love the whole Bates family. Prayers for everyone.

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  46. Praying for you Zach and Whitney. I'm so sorry for your loss. After my first child, I had 3 consecutive miscarriages but the Lord was good and I went on having 3 more beautiful children after.

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  47. So sad to read this. Praying for Whitney and the family. We never forget our angels but find peace they are with God.
    We have two in heaven ourselves. May HIS peace that passes all understanding envelope you.

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  48. Lots of Prayers and love to them and the family!!

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  49. I have been in your shoes 5 times but have been blessed with 3 children. I know the emptiness you feel. Hug those close to you and give yourself time to heal both physically and emotionally. Bless you both.

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  50. Prayers for Whitney.Zach,Bradley and Kaci. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
    Marilyn,Joan and Marion

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  51. So sorry....prayers are with you

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  52. I know how she feels because i have had two miscarriages

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  53. Sending prayers.🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

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  54. I’m so sorry to hear that I will pray for you and your family

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  55. I've been there. It's awful right now, but you will get through it with each other and God, and you will be stronger knowing that you can rest in your faith. Peace will come.

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  56. Anonymous

    My prayers are with you, Zach and Whitney! I can't imagine the pain and agony that you're going through. God be with this sweet couple and their adorable children, Bradley and Kaci.💗💗💗

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