Friday, June 26, 2020

Who Needs Structural?

Whitney Bates, Everly Paine, Kelly Bates
Whitney Bates, Everly Paine, Kelly Bates

"When you start talking to us girls about ideas and plans and you're telling the bride these good ideas, she's not thinking anything structural. She don't care how it's build. As long as it hangs on until the ceremony's over, we don't care."
-Whitney Bates

In this entertaining Bringing Up Bates clip from season eight, Carlin is discussing wedding plans with Kelly, Erin, and Whitney. They get a grand idea, and Zach jumps in to bring them back to reality. And even though Chad is being roped in to help, Erin is convinced that it will be a money making venture for him.


Photo/video courtesy of UPtv

89 comments:

  1. The girls don't sound terrible knowledgable or skilled in this clip. It does not reflect on them favorably.

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    1. Oh, they sound fine.

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    2. So construction may not be their thing. I'm pretty sure none of the guys beside Zack we know how to cook like Erin, or sew like Michaela

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    3. That's a shame. They can't cook for their children? What if their wife gets sick? Why do you think the boys can't cook or sew?

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  2. I love reading about your family. And I have been particularly inspired by how all of the young adults have started their own businesses, graduated from college and pursued their dreams, I am long past the stage of raising kids, but I have started my own antique booth and Etsy shop. Your family inspired me that you are never too old to follow your dreams.

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  3. Please Whitney, use correct speech: “She doesn’t care how it’s built.” Thank you :)

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    1. Just proves she is a real person. I can’t imagine everyone in the English speaking world to have never said the word “don’t” instead of “doesn’t “. It just happens occasionally. I guess you must have all the credentials to call people out. Or maybe you have your faults too and want to be sure to call them out on other people to make yourself look better. πŸ€”

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    2. I second that.

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    3. 7:32 I think it’s rude and condescending to correct someone else’s grammar.

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    4. I'm not the original poster, but I actually get paid to correct the grammar of others (SLP)!

      Mom of three

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    5. I was an English teacher, so poor grammar is like fingernails on chalkboard to me. But I had to correct grammar for so many years that I just don’t bother doing it on blogs.

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    6. @9:26, there’s nothing wrong with wanting correct grammar for your speech and vocabulary. If 7:32 finds that more proper then good, I agree. I think it’s respectable and in this day and age people are so careless with their word choices.

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    7. How else would you improve people’s speech if not by correcting it? When I make a mistake; I appreciate the correction so I do not repeat it.

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    8. Actually, jkak, it’s probably Whitney’s education that failed her. Grammatical corrections are made during the elementary years and she may had had a teacher that did not prioritize correct pronunciation.

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    9. As a teacher, I am often surprised by the family’s use of incorrect grammar, including the constant use of the word “ain’t.” Kelly is a college graduate and she taught the kids English with a homeschooling program. If any of the kids desire to excel in the job market, they need to be able to speak intelligently and correctly.

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    10. I agree with you, 12:00AM. I am a retired teacher. I taught 4th grade and I corrected my students' written and oral grammar on a regular basis. I wanted my students to be successful in whatever profession they chose. Without that correction, I would not have been doing my job as a teacher.
      I am surprised (and somewhat disappointed) that Kelly does not use correct grammar. She is well-educated. She needs to be setting an example for her children, grandchildren, and the viewers.

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    11. There is nothing that points to carelessness, laziness, ignorance, or whatever you want to call it faster than sloppy grammar. I know you can totally be a good person and a skilled/talented person even if you don’t always use proper grammar. However, you come across so much more articulate and capable if you use good grammar. This is particularly true in job interviews. It’s to your benefit to learn correct grammar and get into the habit of using it all the time.

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    12. I’m an Appalachian here. Saying “don’t,” when “doesn’t” is grammatically correct is cultural. It does not reflect the speaker’a intellectual understanding of correct grammar but reflects the traditional dialect of the area. Same with “ain’t” and other technical speech errors. The speakers may use things that are technically incorrect but still knows the correct rules. So y’all calm down. :)

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    13. As a fellow Appalachian, I agree. We know how to speak with proper diction but choose to code switch when we are with other Appalachians. Our cultural norms allow for these words to be used. I think the Bates enjoy portraying themselves as “country.” It is part of their appeal and I enjoy watching them :)

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    14. Anonymous 8:26 raises a good point. I worked with a person that speaks Spanish and was learning the English language. He said one of the biggest challenges was the use of "slang" words. We have dialect being used in so many different areas of the country it was hard for him to learn what was correct. I went to a private religious school growing up and the teachers had not graduated from college. They were teaching first graders at a third grade level, so it has been difficult for me to reverse the damage they caused. Before anyone makes the claim they have to graduate in order to teach, think again I am over the age of 50 and the policies for teaching then are not the same as they are now. Be kind and less critical of correcting someone, you are not aware of every circumstance. You don't have the right to just embarrass someone just because you THINK you have a higher education.

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    15. 8:36, interesting perspective! I am a grammar geek, but it still strikes me as rude to correct someone else's grammar. Would you do that to the person if you were having a conversation with them?

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    16. 8:24am Your question made me pause and think. I usually correct their grammar in my head and then use the correct grammar to respond to them. I don't call them out on it directly.
      I have called people out on swearing, however. I have actually told people, "Please don't use 'swear words' when you speak to me". They stop immediately.

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    17. 12:32, good for you! Swear words are offensive to me too.

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    18. @12:32

      You wouldn't last a day in NJ then! Swearing is simply part of our vocabulary here. If you ever have to drive or take public transportation in our state, you would see why! We truly don't mean anything offensive or malicious with our swearing. Most people in NJ are actually very helpful and kind, but we are a lot more direct and to the point in our communications than most of the country because we have a very fast-paced way of life like NYC. Therefore, we do not have time for flowery pleasantries.

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    19. 5:03, spoken by a true New Jersey resident! ;) You don't have to be flowery to communicate, and you don't have to be irreverent or off-color to get your point across!

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    20. To 5:03PM, I am the OP reply writer and I guess I wouldn't like being in NJ. As an adult, I lived in the small towns of Wyoming and Kansas where people are kind, helpful, and can express themselves without swearing.
      I was born and raised in Chicago so I have experienced the "fast-paced" life. Swearing was not allowed in our Chicago household.
      Years ago, we took a trip to NYC and we were disappointed in how the people treated one another.

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    21. 5:03, yeah, that's not my cup of tea. Bad language is all either crude or blasphemous, so not my thing. You don't have to use bad language in order to be blunt, though! Believe me, I've heard clean blunt. πŸ˜„

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    22. Anon 5:03. I'm from NJ, and I don't swear. Most of my friends and family never sweared. Please don't generalize about the whole state!

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    23. @ 9:51

      I'm saddened to hear about your experience in NYC. In my opinion, New Yorkers are some of the best people in the country. I go there multiple times each year and have experienced nothing but kindness from the people who live there. I've seen people give money and food to the homeless or give directions to tourists. If a lot of people happen to be on the subway at the same time as a street performer, most people join in on the singing and dancing. On 9/11, everyone helped each other! More recently, during the pandemic, New Yorkers donated food and supplies for the healthcare workers and applauded them every night from their apartment balconies.

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    24. 11:00, good to hear some positive stories!

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  4. This family needs to be careful not to take advantage of Chad's skills and good nature- Erin most of all. It appears that they do quite often. In a family this huge and with big events happening with regularity, there's no way he should be expected to volunteer a Saturday whenever someone needs something built. He seems too nice to say no!

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    1. Hi! I was thinking that they count the work Chad does for this kind of project as their wedding gift. He probably likes to help, if it provides help to the bride, and serves as a gift at the same time. It might end up being less money than a regular wedding present...maybe not lol!

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    2. I agree, he does seem to be put on the spot a lot. He’s a good man that wants to serve his family, but I hope Erin makes sure he has some time to relax.

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  5. MO- Chad's such a good guy. I wonder if he ever says NO to anything Erin wants? I guess we'll never know. :o)

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    1. I think they save the discussions for private time. I remember that he felt strongly about not giving his children sugary food, and Erin did not feel the same way. He stood his ground then. I am sure they found a balance, but it seemed clear that he speaks his mind. They seem to be a loving couple. Neither one of them seems to have a mean bone in their body. Marriage is not easy, so they must be doing something right...they seem very at ease together.

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    2. I agree about Chad. I hope he is compensated for all his work, in the same amount that he would be paid working for a total stranger. He is quite creative and skilled. They are lucky to have him in the family and should not take advantage of him. In fact, if he works on Saturday, he should get overtime. It’s the same for all the family members who are trying to make money. They shouldn’t expect Josie to do hair for free, either. These people are trained!

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    3. MO- I've stopped watching the show so I never saw the sugary food episode. I'm happy that Chad stood up for himself and gave his opinion. I think they make a good couple and get along well. It's just that Erin signs Chad up for a lot of things without his knowledge :o)

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    4. I agree. Chad seems like such a wonderful guy, but taken advantage of :-(

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  6. Hi Bates family my name is Diana Britton. I really enjoy watching your family. You all the best

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  7. Hey Bates family how thing doing for your country from your biggest fan Chrissy Marie Wright in Chatham IL .

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    1. They live in the same country as you if you're from Illinois.πŸ™„

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    2. At 1149, I know I thought the same thing. LOL

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    3. Easy there, Belle. Maybe 11:50 meant “the country” or “your part of the country.”

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  8. Hey Bates family how it going with the family in Tennessee your biggest fan Chrissy Marie Wright .

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  9. I'm confused about when this was taped. Who is the baby?

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    1. Must be Everly, I guess.

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    2. It's baby Everly. It was taped around Feb or March 2019

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    3. The baby is Everly Paine, who was born in March 2018. It was probably taped in late 2018, when Whitney was pregnant but miscarried.

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  10. Kelly,it would be a wonderful blessing if you or one of your daughters could carry a baby for Michaela and Brandon. I am praying for them.

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    1. I would never expect or ask my sisters to be a surrogate mom. It would never even occur to me.

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    2. How do you know the problem is with Michaela? It could easily be with Brandon.

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    3. Unknown- You can’t be serious to suggest such a thing for someone else.

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    4. 4:53 - What do you mean? Women have been surrogates for their family members for a long time now. It’s not uncommon. I think it’s a wonderful thing to do for someone you love who is struggling to conceive or to carry a baby.

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    5. I’ve always thought one of the sisters would, with the way they like having babies.
      IJS

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    6. 2:42- Surrogacy is not an uncomplicated process. This is something that is a personal decision and not one for others to advise or suggest is appropriate for someone else. Certainly, it's never ok to put pressure on someone to volunteer to be a surrogate, even if it's for a family member.

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    7. anon@2:42- If you'd like to sign up to be a surrogate, good for you!
      However, it isn't like volunteering to give blood or something. You make it sound like it's no big deal. It is a huge deal and it's not up to you to tell someone else what they should do in this department.

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    8. It can be $50-100K to pay for a surrogacy. Also, the surrogate is at risk of dying in childbirth like any pregnant women. S.

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  11. Where does Carlin stand in the Bates line up.. i thought the older ones were already married...

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    1. She is after Tori and before Josie.

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    2. It's an old clip. Carlin is quite in the middle and she got married in May 2019.

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  12. Why do the girls want to depict themselves this way?

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    1. Depict themselves the way they really are?

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    2. Depict themselves as silly and uninformed. I'm sure they're not!

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    3. I don't think it's that big a deal. My eyes glaze over when a certain person I know talks about the nitty gritty of a certain topic. I don't need to hear the details, just get 'er done! And that person is the same way with me when I'm going into more detail than that person cares to hear.

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  13. Just love this awesome family so much, they are truly the epitome of what a good christian family is all about. Hope they stay on forever. Such a wonderful blessing to television.

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    1. True Christians are not prejudiced.

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  14. I love the show I watch it every day on reruns of course, My only complaint is that it is too short that half hour goes by so quickly!

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  15. I really enjoy your show and my favorite is Erin and zChad

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  16. Why is Whitney staring at Zach like that, when he's explaining that you can't build it? She's just glaring at him, like she's thinking he's raising his voice!

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  17. I love your show, I’ve been watching from day one😍

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  18. Oh ladies! As you know when you sew there's a process. Building has the same rules. You are ALL so talented always remember our talent comes from GOD.

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    1. I don't think any of those women sew.

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    2. @1:10 Then you haven't watched the show very much

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  19. This TV show is taped like any other TV show. Multiple takes, 'get it right' do overs sound and lighting checks. There is no reason for their bad grammar. They also have a script to follow; it may not be verbatim but it's pretty much written out for them. Please use correct English. These mothers are educating their children. If the reader here doesn't point it out, who will correct their children's grammar if the parents don't know any better? I agree with the posts that bring it to their attention.

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  20. This segment just cements the mentality that women are 'ignorant'. They are coming across as not caring about 'details that men should know and care about'. Don't these ladies have any sense? This segment, IMO, portrays these ladies as not caring about facts and real life. The men will take care of those 'bothersome things'....we just want what we want. The men will make it happen. Not flattering at all, really.

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    1. @4:27, I thought the same. If you're going to have a stage for a wedding, it's assumed people will be standing on it. For these young women to casually dismiss the structural soundness of it by saying "as long as it holds together through the ceremony", it really does not put them in a favorable light. They make women appear to have no sense at all, that all they're concerned about is appearances and show. I am a woman and I can assure them this is not my mindset.

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    2. You know what? Guys can be the exact same way about things that don't interest them, things that are part of "real life."

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    3. 11:51 - You are right. men can also act like they don’t care. But just because they do it too, doesn’t make the behavior right. It does make people look incapable, rude, or ignorant when they casually dismiss others.

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    4. I don't get the backlash and double standard here. Do you think the guys care about all the details about the dresses and the flowers and the music and the reception? Erin knows Chad knows his stuff when it comes to building. Why does she need to know the details? She doesn't. The females had plenty of details to take care of for the wedding, no doubt much more than the guys.

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    5. Think of it this way. What if one of the guys went to Aunt Kay and asked her to make a big, elaborate cake for a surprise party for his wife and he told her his vision for the cake, and she told him that it wouldn't work the way he was picturing it. So he said he didn't care how she did it, as long as it looked good. Would you be jumping on him for sounding clueless, or would you just assume it was ok for him to not understand the details of how it should be put together? I don't think there would be the same backlash if it were a guy. And I also don't think it's unreasonable for them to not know the intricacies of something they've never made themselves. It's the end product they care about, not how it happens, and I don't think it's that weird for them to not care about a process that they aren't going to be involved in.

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    6. 1:32, why should anyone act like they care if they don't? Let the experts do their jobs; it literally doesn't matter if the others don't know the details, since they are not the ones who ultimately obtain the supplies or build it.

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    7. I think the point is that Erin is volunteering Chad to build a stage, like it's no big deal. A lot of time and thought has to be put into it, along with labor. The women are not the ones building it. While they don't need to know all the details about how it's put together, they should at least appreciate that it isn't like putting together a popsicle structure.

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  21. They shouldn't 'act' like they care, they SHOULD care. To know about the difficulty or practicality of the 'job' you're volunteering you husband to do is considerate and essential to showing your spouse some respect.

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    1. I respectfully disagree. I can be thankful and appreciative of something my husband does without understanding or even caring about HOW it was done. I'm thankful when my car is fixed or washer repaired without understanding specifics.

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  22. Respectfully, a working vehicle and a working washing machine is a more necessary task. I agree I don't have to know how these things are precisely repaired. Building a stage for a 3 minute wedding ceremony is not a need. Just have the ceremony where a stage already exists. I thought people were married at an ALTAR for a religious ceremony. Thank you for your comment though.

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    1. If you think about it, a platform is a courtesy to the guests so that they can see the wedding better, especially at a larger wedding. It may not be a necessity, but very nice to have. An altar is not a necessity at a religious wedding, at least not biblically speaking. The Bible does not say anything about how or where a wedding must take place. It's a man-made tradition.

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    2. Not sure what being a necessity has to do with it?

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    3. Most people I know rent whatever they need for a wedding, or it's already a part of the venue. My son got married last year and the subject of a stage never came up at all and no one missed it. I guess different people have different priorities and the Bates certainly have a lot family members to pitch in. It does seem to add a lot more stress, though. My niece recently had to cancel her elaborate wedding plans due to the pandemic. They ended up having a lovely cereomony on a beach with just their parents and witnesses. They also saved a boatload of money.

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