Tuesday, February 4, 2020

Trace's Break-Up

Trace Bates with newborn Willow Balka
Trace Bates with newborn Willow Balka

Many of our readers have asked for an update on Trace Bates' relationship with Chaney. For that reason, we wanted to inform you of an announcement that he just made.

After spending time getting to know Trace, Chaney felt like they were not meant to continue their relationship, so the two are no longer dating. Trace says that he is grateful for his time with Chaney and that their months together were a time of growth for both of them.

You may see Trace and Chaney together on season nine of Bringing Up Bates--which premieres March 5th, in case you missed the news--but that is only because the footage was filmed before they broke up.

Photo courtesy of Trace Bates

89 comments:

  1. I'm sorry for Trace's pain, but it is always better to break up if it's not the right person. Down the road he'll be thankful when he meets the right one. Praying God heals his heart and gives him peace meanwhile. :(

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    1. Who talked about pain? No drama, two 20 year Olds dated and now they broke up, that's it.

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    2. 3:56, breakups often cause pain, especially if you were not the one doing the breaking up. Not sure why my comment brought out that reaction??

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    3. If you have no pain that means it meant nothing and you should probably have not gone past a second date. Most relationships mean something and cause some level of pain when they end.

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    4. Very well said, 7:25. While we aren’t told what Trace’s feelings were exactly, Im guessing their dating was of a fairly serious nature, because courtships usually are. Only someone who had no feelings whatsoever would come out of a breakup unscathed.

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  2. Break-ups are always hard. Especially when it wasn’t your choice. I’m sorry for Trace, but proud Chaney made the right decision for herself. Both are beautiful people and the Lord will bring them their marriage partners in time, but nobody wants to hear that during the grief. Blessings to both Trace and ChaneyπŸ’•

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    1. Actually anybody wants to hear it, because it's encouraging.

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    2. It may be encouraging, but when you're newly broken up, it may not be the best time for you to be receptive to hearing that. Maybe after a little space and time for reflection and working through feelings. Would you tell a mom who just lost a baby that it's ok because they can have another baby? Would you tell someone who just lost their best friend that it's ok because they can get another friend? There is very little you can say to someone walking through hard times that will actually help them feel better, and the replacement line is usually not one of those things.

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    3. 10:47. You would be shocked how many Christian women came up to me after the death of my daughter and said “well you’re young you can have more”...within hours of her passing. It was cruel and callous, but the worst part was when I would say I’m not ready to hear that I was told I wasn’t trusting God. So, yeah.. people WILL say all those things.

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    4. Yeah, I know they do, 10:44. :( Pouring salt in the wound, for sure.

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  3. What about the pieces of his heart that were left with Chaney? Is this why the Duggars don't date?

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    1. Bates court just like the duggars... Josiah had a "failed" cortship before married Lauren. Also Zacb and Nathan have both had "failed" courtships as well. The relationship is God centered so their heart are protected.

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    2. Morgan- Even if there's been no physical relationship while dating someone, it doesn't mean you can't still have your heart broken.

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    3. Morgan Kirkendall. With all due respect it doesn’t matter what you call what the relationship of Trace and Chaney. Courting or Dating. They most certainly put their hearts and emotions in it, and I’m sure have broken hearts over it. Being God centered doesn’t spare that. God will heal the broken hearted for sure. But it’s just silly to think they were somehow “protected” from the sadness.

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    4. Why not just "date" then, in a God centered way? Besides, this relationship seems like dating to me.

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    5. The idea is that, even though you're getting to know someone, at the same time you're earnestly praying for God to show you whether it's the right person, and ideally you view the relationship very open-handedly. You're willing to let God do what is best for you and the other person. It takes a lot of maturity to do this, which is why it shouldn't be something done lightly.

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    6. Anon 8:45. What you describes sounds a lot like dating. It does not protect you from heartache. It doesn't mean there is no physical intimacy either (If you look at statistics, courting couples have the same extramarital pregnancy rates as dating couples). It is just the same, only the name is different. I think "courtship" was invented by parents who don't like the idea of their kids "dating" the way they did when they were young.

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    7. 12:53, it doesn't actually have to be a lot like dating. Getting to know someone could occur in group settings, serving alongside each other in ministry, in a long-distance setting, etc. And the leaving it in God's hands mentality actually can protect you from heartbreak. That is nothing like the emotion-driven (or sensually-driven) dating that everyone automatically thinks of.

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    8. Bateses probably pick their dates on their own. For Duggars JimBob makes a match, so these couples really stay together and marry because they are a good match.

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    9. Anon 5:57, I really don't think anyone should marry if they've only seen their partner in a group setting! What a terrible chance one takes in such a situation. I don't think a parent's terror over physical intimacy should compel them to force their kids into such a situation.

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    10. 8:32, that's where the etc. comes in. ;) I didn't say only in group settings. But if the Lord is leading you, it doesn't have to look like everyone else's expectations.

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    11. @5:57- I disagree. I don't think you can really get to know someone very well unless you spend time alone with them and alot of it. If you have been in a realtionship with someone and are not heartbroken when it ends, then you really didn't have strong feelings in the first place. I don't think God protects us from feeling strong emotions. It's a part of the human experience.

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    12. 1:14, knowing God's will about pursuing a relationship and knowing the other person well are two different things. You can have an interest in someone else and be praying for God to show you whether to take it further before you ever get in a courtship or dating relationship. Then you can decide to go to the getting to know you better phase after getting that green light. Eric and Leslie Ludy are a couple who went through a process like that and wrote books about their experience. I found their story fascinating.

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    13. @8:29- I'm going to be honest here, I don't buy into the "God's will"
      mantra. I think people fall back on that to justify their decisions and fulfilling their desires, while at the same time they can feel good about it. We can have gut feelings about something, either positive or negative. Whether that's knowing God's will is a matter of opinion. I also don't believe that there's only one person in the world meant to be our partner, rather the possibilities are great that a person would be happy with quite a number of different people if they had the chance to meet and get to know them. IMO, we are all at the mercy of time, chance, and our own decision making.

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    14. Morgan must be very blessed if God always protects her from a broken heart. It is my understanding that God made us humans with all the feelings therein. God walks with us in our sadness but does not keep us from it. God has reasons for humanity. With every relationship, we learn a little more about ourselves.

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    15. 2:18, I understand that God's will can be nebulous for some people, but throughout my adult life I have had specific guidance from God about each major decision. Clear direction, doors closing, doors opening, specific answer to prayer, peace that passes human understanding, etc. People can try to counterfeit it, but that doesn't mean it's not real.

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  4. The down side of being on reality TV is that this sort of thing is broadcast on TV. That's why, no matter what the money, I would never do this to my kids.

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  5. Blessings to both of them. I am sure that God will bring the one that has been chosen each other soon. Until then, he is in my prayers.

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    1. Why soon? They're just 20 year old... No rush.

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  6. Breakups are hard. When they are on TV we fans also feel the loss. Nathan's breakup made me sad and now I will be sad for Trace. Having watched them grow up in front of my eyes they feel like family. When family hurts we all hurt.

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    1. Oh, Nathan's was heart-breaking!

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  7. Interesting that only Bates boys have had broken courtships and that it’s always the girl who ends it. I wonder why πŸ€”

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    1. Probably because they don't want 19 kids,maybe they try to compromise as they get to know each other but give up when they can't,the Bates boys should stick with families like the Duggars,no need to compromise on anything there.

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    2. I don’t thing it’s anybody’s business, but there’s. Well wishes seems best!

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    3. Maybe it's been different reasons each time. No telling.

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    4. Not that it matters but they never said it was the girl's decision to break up with Nathan. I think it was mutual because they disagreed alot or Nathan's decision. Who knows but it doesn't imply anything either way.

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    5. 9:21, I seem to remember when Nathan explained it that it was maybe a mutual decision. It's been a while, so maybe I'm not remembering right.

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    6. I CANT REMEMBER WHO NATHAN DATED OR COURTED?? I GUESS IM HAVING A SENIOR MOMENT..ANYONE HELP ME OUT PLEASE??

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  8. Break-ups are hard! His heart will heal in time but I know how hard it is to let someone go.

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  9. Thanks for letting us all know. Trace is so handsome, and always seems like a sweet guy, and us fans have always wished the best for him. Chaney also seemed sweet. Sorry to hear that the relationship ended. It must have been almost a year that they knew each other??

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  10. Ah, too bad. That will probably take quite a while to heal. I feel bad for him. But he's got a lot of support.

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  11. Happens to everyone at one time or another!

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  12. The Bates daughters have so far married the first guy they've dated. The Bates sons who've dated have all had break-ups with their first romance. Just an observation.

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    1. Not so sure. We didn’t know them before the show. They could have had failed courtships too.

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    2. No, it’s true. They were featured on 19 Kids and Counting multiple times. Zach’s first courtship was part of an episode years ago. The girls have all married their first boyfriend.

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    3. ...that we know of.
      They could have briefly started dating someone and it didn’t last so they weren’t featured on the show

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  13. So sorry to hear,Trace seemed so happy and smitten,he must be quite sad I'm sure,but he will be strong and find comfort in the Lord.

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  14. MO- Well, a lot of people go through break-ups... In my opinion, (while following their relationship) it seemed to me like these two were being pushed together by the parents and the show. Chaney was in Rocky Top so much- Texas isn't close. They made a cute couple but if it fizzled out, then it's best to just move on. Not every relationship ends in marriage! :o)

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  15. Feel sorry for Trace.. Hope it wasn't because Chaney didn't like the limelight. One question on the side tho..isn't the newborn in the photo Layla not Willow? I'm just trying to keep all the babies straight.

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    1. I agree, and I believe it's Layla 😊

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    2. It’s Willow. It’s an old photo.

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  16. This will get better, you are both too young for marriage and when the time is right, you will both meet your perfect person

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  17. Better to find this out now, then after he gets married. He is still young, don"t rush into a relationship, have your whole life ahead of you. Ledabeth

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  18. The awkwardness of dating real; however, adding the pressure of marriage, after your first date? Dating is healthy, and so are heartbreaks. It's very sad about the extra pressure these people have to after the date.

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    1. That makes me sad that you think heartbreaks are healthy. I praise the Lord that I have never had a boy break my heart or even a break up. Happy to be celebrating 23 years of marriage.

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    2. @12:31 I'm not the OP, but I'd like to respond. No one gets a pass on experienceing heartbreak in this life. It's a healthy thing that we learn to cope with it, whether it be a failed relationship, death of a loved one, chronic illness, job loss, etc. If we never exerience any kind of challenges in life, we can't grow as a person. As my mother used to say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

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    3. I totally echo your comment! And we will be celebrating 23 years in a few months as well !!! 😊

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    4. People grow through heartbreak and trials. Healthy may not be exactly the right word but i understand what the original post means.
      You lean heavily on God during times of heartbreak. A bad breakup may not be a necessity for growth but God will use anything to get closer to you.

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    5. As someone who struggled to find the right person and remained single for a long time and tried some dating, it was awful. There was nothing learned and nothing healthy. I am thankful and grateful and relieved that I am happily married.

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    6. I’ve been married for 30 years. Prior to that, I dated and had a few relationships that didn’t work out. It was hard, but in retrospect I learned a good deal from those experiences. Most important, I learned I had to be happy by myself before I could ever be happy with another person. I also learned that I’m more resilient than I gave myself credit for. I like knowing that.

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    7. I learned what I wanted through heartbreak. One guy I dated stated he never wanted kids, and I learned through that relationship that you can never change a person. Another guy I dated didn't really believe in God, and I also had my questions, but after a year of dating, I matured and it became clearer to me that God was important in my life. And one guy I dated drank a little too much alcohol, and I learned that I didn't like that. I've now been married 33 years, and through dating and meeting different people, I learned how other people think and even though it was right for them, it wasn't right for me, and I found a spouse who was right for me.

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  19. It’s probably best to not bring courtships on the show. Probably makes it awkward to watch seasons not yet released knowing how it’ll end.

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  20. I am so sad that Trace made an "official dating announcement" about his relationship with Chaney. Now he has to make a breakup announcement. Reality TV stardom can make the ups and downs of relationships extra hard. It seems like he "dated" her the way many young people date, I don't know why it needs to be called "courting."

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  21. Oh poor Trace, but he is such a sweetheart im sure he will find his special girl. In time.

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  22. I saw that one coming; they just didn't seem like they went together.

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    1. I also felt like their relationship wasn't flowing (of course from my limited perspective), so it wasn't a big surprise for me

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    2. Same with Nathan and the girl from New York.

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    3. I thought the same thing!

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  23. So, that's why Chaney stopped modeling clothes for the Bates Shop.

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  24. Happy Belated Birthday Trace and Jeb..🎁🍧.Everything is going to be alright

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  25. I think it is so sad that these kids have no say so in how their lives are so displayed to the public like it is. I’m sure Trace would of like for this to be a private matter, but had no choice in the matter with his parents choosing to display their kids lives in a public way. I sure the other boys all felt that way when it was announced A failed courtship.
    I wish the parents would just stop and think for once what these kids have to go through with their lives being so public.

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    1. Trace, as well as the rest of the kids 18 or over, are adults and perfectly capable of making their own decisions and life choices. There’s no reason for them to stay on TV if they don’t want to. My guess is that financially it’s worthwhile for them to continue.

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  26. People can absolutely date without sleeping together. It has been done for centuries and is still done today. There is no need to put such pressure on courting and it's 'rules'. Experience in life is good. It helps one grow up and develop sympathy and understanding for others who may experience different types of heartbreak in life. NO one should be sheltered from growing life experience like most of these people are. IMO, most of the married Bates children are still underdeveloped emotionally and under-mature for their ages, except Zach who lives and works in the real world yet still believes in God. It can be done.

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    1. You are forgetting that the Bates follow IBLP doctrine regarding courtship, marriage and family. A big part of that is sheltering their kids until they find a spouse. We can disagree with it, but I guess it isn't up to you or I to tell other people what they "should" be doing. I also think it's wrong when certain religions promote trying to save souls with warnings of dire consequences if they don't convert to a certain belief system.

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    2. MO- I see a distinct difference between the supervision and raising of female children vs male children in these large TV families. I'm not familiar with the IBLP doctrine... Does it promote a different set of rules/standards for male and female children? Just curious-

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    3. 5:38, How do you know the "certain religions" are wrong? You have never died before, so you can't be sure. If I were you, I would read the Bible (KJV is the most accurate doctrinally) and see what it says before making such a vital assumption.

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  27. Didn’t he just have a birthday too?

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  28. cut her out of the show. no reason for her to be on the show.

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    1. Cutting her out of the show would be the most Christian thing to do. It would also make things much more real to viewers. I like getting the feeling I am seeing the honest version of things.

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    2. The show is supposed to be a depiction of their lives. If they cut her out of the show, they wouldn’t be showing the whole story. Heart break is a part of life too.

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    3. The last season ended with Carlin’s wedding... nine months ago and now she has her honeymoon baby. If Chaney was at events like the trip to the mountains, they’re not going to blur her face out or whatever.

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    4. I do see your point. I think it ultimately should be up to them; as in Trace and Chaney. A compromise like her face being blurred could be considered. I hope UpTV producers are at least open to that. I have heard some not-so-favorable stories on TLC. Once the show airs please give your thoughts on, does she look like she didn't want to be on camera in the first place?

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  29. I wonder if Gil and Kelly will change the way they do courtships? This is the third failed courtship with the boys, Zach, Nathan and now Trace. Something is not working when it comes with the boys. Zach met Whit on his own and it was nothing like his previous courtship.

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    1. I wonder if the Bates boys are a bit full of themselves. Girls don't like that.

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  30. I feel for Trade, but if Chaney didn't feel that the relationship was working, then it was right to end it. In time, Trace will hopefully move on from this heartbreak, learn and grow from there. One day, I am sure, he will meet his Ms.Right.

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