A Chat with Mama Jane Bates

The Bates absolutely adore Gil's parents--Papa Bill and Mama Jane. They were featured on various episodes of Bringing Up Bates, but it's time to get to know them even better. Erin Paine recently sat down for a chat with Mama Jane, who is now the full-time caretaker for Papa Bill, and uploaded the conversation to YouTube.

'Eye Love You Day' Recap

Bringing Up Bates "Eye Love You Day"

• Kelly is in bed recovering from vision correction surgery, so Carlin is in charge of homeschooling, and she runs a tight ship. She wakes the kids up earlier than usual, and the ones who won’t get out of bed get water sprinkled on their faces. “Half the time I’m not awake until she dumps the water on me,” admits Jackson.
• Gil loves pampering his wife, saying that he finally has her all to himself. Michael comes down from Chicago to cook and help with the children.
• One week after her surgery, Kelly is back in the swing of things. It’s time to start planning for I Love You Day (Bates Valentine’s Day). The theme is Growing Old Together, and the Bates mom is awarding a monetary prize to those with the best costumes. The goal of the theme is to honor Gil’s parent’s (Papa Bill and Mama Jane) and Kelly’s mom and new stepfather (Meema and Tom), as well as to express a hope that Gil and Kelly have for their married children. “That was all in fun, but at the same time, my prayer is [that] they will be able to grow old together,” says Kelly.
• Kelly and some of the kids go to Karm Thrift Store to find outfits for the party. “It was neat to see how everybody kind of envisioned what an older person dresses like,” says Erin.
• While searching for a costume, Kelly ends up finding something that she wants to wear on a regular day. Her kids poke fun at her, but she doesn't mind. “I am older,” says Kelly, laughing. “I’m not going to apologize.”
• “This is our biggest family holiday,” says Erin. The older girls help the little kids make gifts, like bath scrub and body wash, to give to family members (in addition to the big gift exchange). Erin says she “feels so successful” to be in her third trimester.F
• The topic turns to Carlin’s relationship and possible engagement. She and Evan have been talking about timing. “As an older sister, it’s just really sweet to watch your younger sister go through a relationship,” says Erin.
• “Don’t talk about getting married,” cautions Gil. “We done got enough people married.”
• “I tell you, I can’t give away the boys, but everybody wants to get the girls,” says Gil.
• The night before the big celebration, some of the couples decorate a big table at a local lakeside restaurant before the couples (both married and courting, including the grandparents), arrive. “This is not just any old date at the fast food,” says Kelly. “This is special.”
• “They’re excluding us from a lot of good fun and food,” says Lawson. “So this must change.” He arrives at the dinner in a suit, and Kelly tells him he is only welcome if he has “got a girl.”
• “Well I actually did bring somebody special here that I wanted to introduce you all too,” says Lawson. “You did what?!” exclaims Gil.
• Out comes Nathan, wearing a nightgown, curlers, and a gray wig. The room erupts in laughter. “Those two boys, it’s amazing what they’ll do to come to a good dinner,” says Gil, chuckling. “If he was dating somebody, this mama would know it,” states Kelly.
• During dinner, everyone shares their first impression of their significant other. Kelly was attracted to Gil’s athleticism and his “strut.” “Let’s just say he strutted his feathers, and this bird came running,” says Kelly.
• “I remember thinking, the guy that gets to marry [Michael] is going to be a very blessed guy, and I didn’t think I had a chance, but I’m the blessed guy,” shares Brandon.
• The next day, everyone arrives at the big house for the main celebration. Erin, Chad, Carlin, and Evan go all out. For contrast, the grandparents come dressed like young people.
• The winners of the costume contest are Evan (best adult male costume), Carlin (best adult female costume), Erin and Chad (best dressed couple), and Judson (best child costume).
• After a few games, it’s time for the gift exchange. “Honestly, the best thing about I Love You Day…is watching the other people open the gifts that you got them,” says Tori.
• Jackson’s gift for Katie is a pizza (delivered during the gift exchange), Ramen noodles, and a pair of shoes. Katie is thrilled, although she is only able to eat one piece of pizza before her siblings devour the rest.

Recap: 'A Birthday and a Birdie'

Bringing Up Bates "A Birthday and a Birdie"

• Gil and Kelly have a tradition of giving a purity ring to each of their daughters on her 16^th birthday. It’s Katie’s turn, and her older sisters help her find an outfit to wear for her dinner date with Mom and Dad. Katie says she isn’t a dressy person, but they insist she wear something fancy.
• “Watching these young girls grow up to be young ladies is really hard for a dad,” says Gil.
• When the producer asks why the guys don’t get purity rings, Zach jokingly responds that “the guys in this family don’t get a lot of free things.”
• “Don’t worry about the ring,” says Lawson. “But if you want to get me a new saddle, maybe even a new pickup truck.” The younger boys say they would love a steak in place of a purity ring.
• At the restaurant, Gil and Kelly explain the significance of the ring. “This is valuable, but your purity and your life is way more valuable than any ring or trinket or anything in the whole world,” shares Gil. 
• Katie will wear the gold heart ring--a symbol of her commitment to stay pure, the talk she had with her parents, how much her mom and dad love her, and the goals she has set for herself to pursue godliness--on her right ring finger until her wedding day.
• “Going into this dinner, I was really nervous, not really knowing what to expect, but it was just great spending time with Mom and Dad, and they made me feel really special.”
• Later, Gil and Kelly, who have been looking for a permanent meeting place since they started their church plant more than three years ago, visit the building that they recently secured. It doesn’t have a steeple, so they are having one added.
• Papa Bill and Mama Jane (Gil’s parents) are visiting from South Carolina. Gil, Papa Bill, and Lawson go on a golfing outing. “He’s just been one of my best friends, and I look forward to any chance to be with him,” says Gil of his father, who is 78.
• “Lawson is a card,” says Papa Bill. “He is very funny. Lawson enjoys golf, but this game doesn’t quite go as well as he hoped it would.
• Gil asks his son if he needs to have a “large talk,” which is Bates code for, “Are you interested in any girls?” Lawson says no; he is married to music right now.
• Papa Bill offers up wise advice: “Just remember, whatever decision you make today will determine what decisions are available to you tomorrow.” 
• At dinner that night, Gil and Kelly single Katie out. “She was ready to hide,” laughs Kelly. “She does not like attention.” While they eat, the family shares birthday praises. Gil's words bring everyone to tears.
• Carlin: “Katie never ceases to make me laugh.
• Erin: “Katie is like one of my best friends. I would kind of like to adopt her if mom would let me.”
• Mama Jane: “Katie tries to make sure I don’t say anything that’s not acceptable. And that’s been a little problem with me through the years. Things I think just come out. But she corrects me.”
• Kelly: “You’re just so content and so grateful for anything.”
• Gil: “When I’m getting stressed out about stuff, you say, ‘Dad, it’s alright. It’s going to be okay.’ You help me get the right perspective on things.”

Recap: "Welcome Back Bates"

Bringing Up Bates "Welcome Back Bates"...

• With three (soon to be four) kids married and two (Nathan and Tori) taking college classes, Gil and Kelly Bates joke that they are having empty nest syndrome.
• “It’s just starting to hit me as it gets closer, that this is actually my wedding and I’m the one moving away,” shares Michael.
• As the big day approaches, Gil and Kelly take Michael to Petals & Lace in Nashville, Tennessee, to find her dream dress. “It’s worth anything to find the dress for Michael,” says Gil. “I hate seeing [her] feel the pressure trying to find something [she] can’t.”
• Several of Michael’s sisters (and brothers, surprisingly) come along. “When Lawson and Nathan caught wind of it, they were not going to be left out of something fun,” says Kelly.
• “Girls think they know what looks good, but the truth is, you have to have a guy’s opinion to know if something is really good,” says Nathan.
• Petals & Lace has many styles of dresses, including strapless. Gil's comment makes his wife and daughters laugh: “Most of these wedding dresses, they’re missing all the tops!”
• “Most people don’t wear them, Dad,” responds Carlin. “He’s not been to many modern weddings has he?” says Kelly, chuckling.
• Everyone takes a seat, and the fun begins. Lawson and Nathan, who just want to finish and grab pizza, keep things interesting with their witty remarks.
• “That looks like my grandma’s wedding dress.” (Nathan)
• “Do y’all ever want to get a dress, or y’all just want to keep talking about dresses?” (Lawson)
• When Michael walks out of the fitting room wearing THE dress, Gil starts bawling. “I can’t think about it,” says the dad of 19. “We’ve kind of grown up together. She’s always been here. It really is sad.”
• The proud father braces himself as the attendant prepares to announce the cost, but when she informs him that it will be $600 including tax, he is incredibly relieved.
• One month before Michael’s wedding, the Bates family travels to Mebane, North Carolina, to watch Kelly’s sister Beth marry her long-time boyfriend.
• The wedding is outdoors in the middle of summer, and as Gil says, it’s “H-O-T.”
• Kelly and Michael take note of Beth’s decorations as they plan for Michael’s big day. “Mom is amazing,” shares the bride-to-be. "She’s best mom, matron of honor, best friend, all in one.”
• Kelly, Michael, Addallee, and Ellie head inside to give Beth a pep talk before the ceremony.
• The guests are nervous when they hear thunder, and although it starts to sprinkle during the vows, the wedding still ends up being a beautiful occasion.
• For the next big Bates adventure, the family drives down to Honea Path, South Carolina, for Papa Bill’s 4^th of July birthday party. (Papa Bill and Mama Jane are Gil’s parents.) 
• Zach, who is in the middle of his training at the police academy, isn’t able to attend the party. Michael, accompanied by Callie, stays home so she can go to her scheduled dress fitting.
• Mama Jane loves having her grandchildren over, but the lack of organization is hard on her. Every year, the kids manage to break Mama Jane’s hammock, and every year Mama Jane mends it. “The year before last when it broke, she took her shoe off and took it to a few of them,” shares Gil. “This year, she responded a lot calmer.”
• Papa Bill, 77, has been having heart problems, so the extended Bates family cherishes every moment spent with him. During the party, the guests take time to share how Papa Bill has influenced their lives.
• Whitney’s genuine comment brings everyone to tears: “…It’s really encouraging to watch all y’all as a family, how tight y’all are. [Zach] respects you, and he thinks a lot of you.”
• Later, Kelly and Tori impress everyone during an all-generations kickball game.
• During a commercial break, viewers find out which Bates couple is expecting a baby. It's Zach and Whitney!

Recap: "A Big Bates Thanksgiving"

Bringing Up Bates "A Big Bates Thanksgiving"

• Erin visits her doctor to determine the gender of her baby. The results are written on a piece of paper and sealed in an envelope, which Erin will give to her cousin Katherine so she can bake a cake with either pink or blue inside. "I am a super curious person, especially when it comes to what my baby is," says Erin.
• The family packs up and heads to Gil's parents' farm in Honea Path, South Carolina. Mama Jane and Papa Bill prepare to feed a few dozen family members for Thanksgiving Dinner.
• Gil's parents have owned their farm since they moved to the area when Gil was in third grade. Now, his brother and sister each own a house and several acres of land on the property. Gil and Kelly also own several acres.
• The entire family gathers together, including Michaella's boyfriend, Brandon.
• On Thanksgiving Day, Callie accidentally slams Jeb's finger in a door. Later, during the annual family football game (married guys versus single guys) Zach injures his knee. But no one ends up in the emergency room, so the Bates consider it a good day.
• Growing up, Gil spent a lot of time playing sports. His parents say he had a hard time balancing athletics with other priorities. Now that he has kids, he encourages them to put Christ first, which means they don't play organized sports.
• The Bates put on their matching outfits (purples, blues, and grays) and take family photos. Chad the photographer organizes the pictures.
• Bill and Jane rent a tent for Thanksgiving Dinner because their house isn't big enough to accommodate their growing family. After the meal, the Bates move inside and reflect on what they are thankful for. "There was probably not a dry eye in the place," says Gil.
• Kelly's response is the most touching: "I'm really thankful that y'all are so forgiving because I know as parents, we have let you down so many times. There have been times that we were upset with y'all that we shouldn't have been, or that we should have cut you slack and we didn't, or that we were impatient. And y'all have put up and endured and even encouraged us along and are so forgiving. And many times we look back and we feel like failures as parents, and we feel like we've let y'all down in so many ways. And y'all are the greatest kids in the world. Y'all encourage us so much. I just love every one of you.
• Gil says he is thankful that his wife had the idea of leaving the size of their family up to God. He thought it was crazy at first, but looking back, he says it was one of the best decisions he has ever made.
• Everyone gathers around as Erin cuts into the cake baked by her cousin. The inside is blue, which means she and Chad are having a boy!
• To end the night, Lawson plays piano while Papa Bill and Mama Jane dance. Mama Jane tries to teach Nathan. "Nathan cannot dance," says Michaella.
• The following day, the Bates (everyone but Michaella, who is returning home to Tennessee to work, and Brandon, who is flying back to Michigan) gather up their belongings to head down to Florida.
• The family talks about how different Thanksgiving will be in 2015. "Bradley might have a girl in his life...a sister," says Zach. "Zach, be serious!" responds Whitney.
• "There might be a couple more wives, or girlfriends," says Nathan. "I am not getting married before next Thanksgiving," confirms Lawson.