Thursday, June 7, 2018

'A Heavenly Honeymoon & A Courtship Countdown' Recap

Bringing Up Bates "A Heavenly Honeymoon & A Courtship Countdown"
  • The wedding is over, and Tori and Bobby are off on their honeymoon. They fly into San Francisco and immediately grab a car and head to the Pacific Coast Highway. They stop at the Natural Bridges State Beach to eat sandwiches. “The first few days of our honeymoon, it really felt like we had snuck off somewhere and we were about to get caught at any second,” admits Bobby.
  • Back home, Carlin and Josie discuss how odd it is to be the oldest sisters in the house.
  • Tori and Bobby go on a private boat ride in Monterey Bay, and they sail past a large group of sea lions. After the excursion, the newlyweds have a FaceTime chat with Gil and Kelly, who are a bit down in the dumps now that Tori has left the house.
  • To celebrate Tori’s birthday the following day, the Smiths check out beautiful Yosemite Valley. Bobby arranges for them to take a sleigh ride through a pine forest, complete with hot apple cider. “Going from courting and being engaged…always being careful that you’re not too close…to all of the sudden, in a split second you’re married and you can do whatever in the world you want, it’s just a really big difference that happens in a second,” says Tori. Bobby brings the birthday to a close with Tori’s favorite meal--steak--cooked together at the couple's mountain condo.
  • Meanwhile, Kelton meets his dad, Michael Balka, for lunch to discuss the courtship proposal. The plan is to spend the day in Gatlinburg.
  • When Kelton was 13, his mother passed away while giving birth to his youngest sister, Kerstin. (Kelton is the oldest of five.) “That was a really, really difficult time for our family, the hardest thing I’ve ever been through,” says Kelton. “My father has literally dedicated his life to pouring into me and his other four kids, and that’s part of the reason that me and him have such a close-knit relationship where we talk about everything. My father has built his whole life around carrying out my mother’s wishes in raising us.”
  • To prepare for the big day, Kelton gets permission from the city to string lights on Emerets Cove Covered Bridge in Sevierville. His father and brother Carson help him.
  • Next, it’s time for Kelton to surprise Josie. He shows up at the house with roses a few days before Josie was expecting everything to go down. “I was super nervous walking up,” says Kelton. “I have never done a courtship before.”
  • Josie, Kelton, Gil, Kelly, and Michael head down to Gatlinburg. They take an aerial tram up a mountain to the Ober Gatlinburg Ski Area.
  • They go ice skating, and Kelton jokingly gets down on one knee. “I told him we should skip courtship and propose,” says Josie. “If it had been in my pocket, it would have happened, but I didn’t have it,” explains Kelton. “But it’s okay because it’s coming,” replies Josie. “It’s coming soon.”
  • After ice skating, they drive over to the covered bridge. Josie and Kelton get out and walk under the bridge, while the parents watch from the car.
  • Kelton shares some heart-felt words with Josie: “You know that I have had very strong feelings about you for a long time, and today one of the things that I love most about you is that you absolutely are my best friend. I love your sweet spirit and your tenderness for other people. I love your diligence and even your determination to succeed, that those who don’t know you well might not even see. I really love your green eyes though, and I love this little beauty mark that you try to tell me that you hate because it’s beautiful. But above all, I love your heart. I want to make a commitment to you tonight to pursue your heart, and I brought you a gift tonight to help remind you of my commitment to pursue your heart. I love you, Josie Bates. Can I have your heart?”
  • Kelton pulls out a diamond heart necklace, and the two of them enjoy a romantic hug.
  • The parents are elated. “Twenty-five years ago, two days ago, my wife and I got married, and then we came to Gatlinburg for our honeymoon,” says Kelton’s dad. “It was just amazing that it all just kind of lined up like that, and it made it seem somewhat surreal.”
  • “My father and mother were truly, deeply in love,” says Kelton. “My father has told me my whole life that his prayer and his dream for me would be for me to find someone that meant as much to me as my mother meant to him, and I don’t know how anyone could mean more to me than Josie does.”

55 comments:

  1. I think Kelton asking Josie to court was the sweetest out of any of the courtships or engagements so far. To them it was probably more of an engagement minus the ring.

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    1. I agree - the feeling of their love was deep.
      Kelton is one great guy. . . .he endured a lot of heart ache not only losing his mother, but watching his father having to live w.o her. He has learned to trust in the lord and be strong for his siblings AND Father.

      All the best for a long happy life with Josie

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  2. Josie is one lucky lady! Kelton is such a sweet heart kelton is also lucky to have found such an awesome young lady

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  3. That all brings a tear to my eye. Very touching!!!

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  4. I found it quite sad that Tori and Bobby had feelings that even after the wedding, kissing and being alone together was wrong. I would hope that upon hearing that, the courtship rules might be relaxed a little to allow a couple some alone time to demonstrate that these very moral young adults are trusted to follow through on their religious and moral beliefs.

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    1. I wonder if the Gil and Kelly ever talk about this with the kids before the wedding day. Like I know you have been restricted but it's okay. I do not think Tori and Bobby are the first to feel this but maybe the first to say it to cameras. I agree with you Kathy, and hope Gil and Kelly work on the transition of courtship to marriage with their kids or communicate with them. No-one should feel guilty kissing their husband or wife.

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    2. I agree that many, perhaps even most, couples truly committed to chastity, are able to stick to their beliefs without chaperones around. But even they can have issues with the transition to marital intimacy. (No I don't have personal experience but I've heard from people who do).

      I do think sometimes Christians (and those of other religions with similar beliefs about this issue) can focus so much on "purity" that they give impression intimacy is "dirty" even in marriage.

      But not all couples have this issue. Erin and Chad followed a stricter set of rules than most of their siblings, and she did imply on a recent interview that she had anxieties about the "big wedding night", but they turned out to be unfounded.

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    3. Well obviously those feelings were only for a couple of seconds, because they are expecting a baby now. Everything worked out ok. You don't need to worry yourself.

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    4. The only thing expecting a baby shows is that a couple has been physically intimate.
      Feeling uncomfortable by simply being alone with your spouse and kissing them is sad. I hope that the transition was a smooth one for the Smiths.

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    5. Anon at 9:46AM: Yes "everything worked out ok" but I'm sure they'd have preferred a less awkward honeymoon.

      It was telling how (IMO) Kelton and Josie's hug after the courtship proposal, not to mention him cupping her face when he mentioned her birthmark, came across as a much more passionate gesture, than the one kiss Tori and Bobby had on camera during the episode.

      I really hope that just means they felt awkward kissing and being overtly romantic on camera, and they acted much differently when they were truly alone with each other.

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  5. Tori & Bobby's honeymoon made me want to travel out west! Looks like they had an amazing time. The segment about Josie and Kelton was so sweet and heart gripping. The depth of his love for her that he was willing to wait for years to get to finally court her, the love story of his parents, the sweet "proposal" - all of it just really got to me. I'm kind of hoping they get to get married soon, because it seems like all they already have each other's hearts. (And I have not felt that way about a lot of the other Bates and Duggar couples)

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  6. TEARS IN MY EYES - heart felt, very touching moments when Josie and Kelton were on the bridge. Very special moment they will never forget. They make a lovely couple and my prayers are with them.

    What a difference between sisters - Tori does not appear to be as serious about things - she seems to take things lightly and sometimes it is annoying (to fans). to each their own. I wish Tori and Bobby well.

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    1. They have different personalities, and just because someone acts one way on tv doesn’t mean that’s how she always is. It could be awkward to have your personal life on tv for all to see, knowing that lots of people are judging your every move.

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    2. Josie and Kelton were so sweet and I must admit I envied them. They are obviously in the stage of the relationship when they are so into each other, when they're together the rest of the world might as well not exist.

      As for Tori and Bobby, while Tori may "appear" not to be serious, I think a lot of it is that is due to her stage fright. It's obvious she's not comfortable being the focus of attention and she often winds up awkwardly joking around as a way to cut tension.

      However for whatever reason she seems more comfortable in the "talking heads" interviews. Her comments about the transition from courtship to marriage are quite honest and "real". It is indeed true that some (though certainly not all) couples who refrained from premarital intimacy do have issues with the transition to marriage.

      Some who push courtship and purity culture often are afraid to mention any less than positive aspects, for fear people will reject the whole message. But Jesus never promised his followers an easy life on earth. Doing the right thing can be difficult. I applaud both Tori and Bobby for not sugarcoating things.

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    3. Time 4:55AM Sat 6/9
      So sad that Kelton lost his mom. I know a friend who lost her mom when she was a teen. But the courtship proposal was so cute.

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  7. I imagine Kelton and Josie will be getting married before Carlin and Evan. I'm sure he helped his dad a lot with the 4 younger siblings and is more mature than most guys his age. He even said if he had a ring in his pocket, he would have skipped courtship and moved on to engagement.

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    1. Maybe Kelton's family doesn't have a "courtship" tradition and that's why he said that. But then again Josie herself implied she'd have been happy to go directly to engagement, and perhaps if the show wasn't a factor that's what they would have done.

      As for Carlin and Evan, seems they're enjoying the courtship stage and in no rush to get engaged. Now, I think one reason the courtship proposals are so elaborate is that the idea behind courtship, basically a committed serious relationship with marriage as the eventual goal , actually is what "engagement" means for many people these days, a promise of "commitment" with a general intent to marry at some point in the next few (or more) years. Some even wind up living as if already married, long before the actual wedding.

      But for the Bates, Duggars, and I assume others with their beliefs, engagement is seen as the point actual practical wedding planning begins, and expect to marry in 3-4 months at the most after "popping the question".

      And I think Carlin and Evan realize they're not yet ready to take on the responsibilities of marriage. I can see them waiting for a least one of them to finish school before taking the next step. This isn't the case for Kelton and Josie, they both have finished school and are gainfully employed.

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    2. Tori did not seem ready and she married. Carlin is wise and wait

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    3. Yes i agree! Love this couple!

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  8. Kelton and Josie seem so mature and ready to marry.
    God bless them both in this next stage of their relationship.

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  9. So glad to hear that they are goiing to be married soon. They are such a sweet and modern couple.

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  10. What date did Kelton and Josie start courting?

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    1. They started courting on January 11th 2018.

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    2. Early January

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  11. My favorite couple of them all. So mature beyond their years. God bless you, Kelton and Josie!

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    1. I agree, they should get married and get a baby soon.

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  12. Hey Bates fans..just wondering what ya'lls thoughts are on the girl proposing as opposed to the guy? I doubt it would happen in a family like this where the guys seemingly take the lead, but just curious. I for one cannot wait to be proposed to one day, but there's something sweet about the girl doing it, or something similar?

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    1. I proposed to my husband:-)

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    2. I've been married for 30 years. My husband and I had been in a relationship for four years, having talked in general terms about one day getting married. I finally decided it was time to take the bull by the horns and gave him an ultimatum- we either get married or I would be moving on without him. That did the trick!

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    3. I would go for it, depending on how the guy would react. You have to know your guy. But, I love the idea and also feel it is romantic. If you just waited for him to propose, you could still do something sweet in return, just see what he feels would be sweet.

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    4. I don't have an opinion really, but like the old-fashioned way of the man asking the lady. But, everyones different.

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    5. I'm waitin on my man!! Haha

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    6. I loveee that anon 7:04 congrats on your loving marriage

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    7. Can I ask at what age you were when you got married anon 7:04?

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    8. Thats so sweet anon 3:56. I totally love it.

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    9. The man usually does it because he takes care of his lady, physically spiritually and emotionally through life. If you propose are you ready to turn it around and provide for him? I'm a woman and I'd hate to have to be the breadwinner in our home plus everything else ha ha

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    10. 8:35PM- Your traditional view of marriage is not the norm today. I would never expect my husband to be the sole provider. He and I have been a two-income couple our entire married life. At times, I made more money than he did. It's been a 50/50 partnership. (In other words, we not only both bring home the bacon, but we also both fy it up in a pan.) I can assure you, it has worked for us for over 25 years.

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    11. Anon@8:35. Going into marriage expecting a man to support you financially is unrealistic in the long term. Stuff happens, I can assure you.

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    12. I would hope a wife takes care of her husband's physical, spiritual, and emotional needs too. You're partners in marriage not your husband's dependent.

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    13. I am older than my boyfriend, and am therefore waiting until he feels prepared for marriage and proposes to me. But everyones got their own opinion and every relationship is different. I do agree that being realistic in marriage and relationships is important too

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  13. Tori’s attitude seems to continue even after the wedding. :(

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    1. I feel that way too. Like she's always so expectant. But, look at the way Kelly Jo is..

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    2. I agree! I always thought that Tori was the "sweet, quiet" one when sitting with Carlin as she rambled on and on. I felt sorry for her never being able to get a word in edge-wise. But now I have changed my opinion of Tori. In my opinion, she's very short with Bobby and has an "indifferent" attitude.

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  14. Tori was kind of mean about the frozen green beans... I felt like poor Bobby was trying to do something special for her and she still had that same old ungrateful attitude that she had during her engagement and wedding planning.

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    1. I didn't get that impression at all. I thought she just wasn't sure how to cook the beans.

      While many people have judged Tori based on the show, I get the sense she is very uncomfortable being the "star of the show" and that's why she was so awkward during most of the wedding related episodes, and this carried over into the honeymoon related ones, too.

      I really hope Tori doesn't feel obligated to give birth on camera if she'd not comfortable doing it, I can't imagine that level of stress would be good for either her or the baby.

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  15. Tori and Bobby will be a fun couple to watch. That girl is sassy and spunky, lol. They seemed a bit awkward with each other and showing affection on their honeymoon, but it totally could be because of the camera right there.

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    1. Yeah, kind of like how Ben and Jessa had their first kiss and moments in private as a married couple, then kind of worked their way into havind pda with the cameras around. I think they have similar personalities to Bobby and Tori and think maybe Bobby and Tori just went about it in a different way.

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    2. Bobby and Tori remind me of Ben and Jessa as well. They both seem awkward being romantic in front of the cameras and interact more like good friends than lovers. Unlike some other couples who sometimes make me want to yell "Get a room!" at the TV.

      It seems neither Tori or Jessa are that impressed by stereotypical "romantic" experiences compared to some of their sisters, or me. I'd certainly prefer a fancy restaurant meal for a romantic birthday dinner, to a simple steak dinner at home.

      However Ben does have a romantic streak, as shown in his creative wedding proposal for Jessa. I'm sure he had a lot of help, but he played his part well, and it's still my favorite Duggar wedding proposal.

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  16. I laughed when Tori put Bobby in a headlock during their snowball fight. Bobby lets things roll of his back and is really good natured. He put in a lot of effort to make her birthday special (I know UP facilitated the private activities). He planned a honeymoon that fit their personalities well and they both seemed to enjoy it.

    I'm wondering if Tori is used to cooking fresh green beans and just didn't know the convenience of heating up frozen? Pop those beans in the microwave and done in minutes. I was surprised when Kelly said that Tori didn't cook that much because I thought she said Tori stepped up and took over some of the cooking when the older girls married.

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  17. So beautiful the episode of the honeymoon and courtship proposal. Was so hoping the episode was an hour and a half. I love the Bates, their values and love for each other. I never had that with my family. So sad the network has to promote other shows when we all want see more of the amazing Bates.

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  18. Love Kelton & Josie as a couple. But I can’t watch Kelton speak!! Odd way of moving his mouth which could be because he’s being careful while on camera. Regardless, he is quite a mature, compassionate person who suffered the loss of his beloved mom at such a young age. Love his dad, too.

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  19. After watching the show faithfully, I can honestly say I hope my grandkids do not marry into families that force these courtship rules on their children. I feel sorry for them for not being able to be alone together before marriage, or not being able to kiss at least when they get engaged. It’s totally unrealistic and uncalled for. I hope Bobby and Tori work through everything. They both have a lot of challenges ahead, as I would imagine the rest of the married kids did. However, I love this show and look forward to every episode.

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    1. I have a feeling that they don't think being alone and sharing some kisses before marriage is totally bad. It's probably that with so many kids and adult kids in relationships, it would be impossible to keep them all on track without some extreme rules in place.

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    2. Zach and Whitney did kiss before marriage, not sure if it was during engagement or before. However that might have been them "falling into temptation" and not a deliberate premeditated rejection of the rule.

      However while I agree mature responsible couples should be able to be alone with each other and even kiss without going further. I'm pretty sure, though, that there is always an adjustment for a married couple that remains "pure" before, and don't have a "test run" of marriage by being intimate and living together. Even if you spend several hours every day with your fiancee before marriage, it's quite different to actually live together.

      Indeed, I'm pretty sure that's how the honeymoon custom started in the first place, to allow the married couple to get to know each other better in a private setting away from nosy relatives.

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