Thursday, January 11, 2018

'Decorating Dilemmas and Job Decisions' Recap

Bringing Up Bates "Decorating Dilemmas and Job Decisions"

  • Kelly and Erin arrive in Chicago to help Michaela decorate her new rental home. (She and Brandon recently moved out of their tiny, one-bedroom rental house.) “I have one condition for family coming to help decorate,” says Brandon. “If my wife likes it when they’re done, it can stay.”
  • Although Brandon slightly prefers more modern d├ęcor, Michaela decides to go with a country/farmhouse theme.
  • The three ladies head out to a quilting store to search for fabric to make curtains. Kelly’s ideas prove to be very different than Michaela and Erin’s.
  • “At least we got some ideas,” says Erin, as they leave the store without having chosen fabric. “We found out that we don’t want turquoise curtains.”
  • “Well, I didn’t find that out, but I’m going with y’all,” replies Kelly. “I’m along for the ride.”
  • While the ladies decorate, Michaela shares an update on her journey to motherhood. She has been seeing a specialist for about a year and has done several tests, but they are all expensive. There is one last test she wants to have done by Dr. Vick, the Bates’ obstetrician.
  • “The whole journey to find an answer and just see what might be the problem is very emotional,” says Michaela. “I think we’ve tried all of the major tests, and there’s one more procedure that I want to have done. And then after that, just take a break and enjoy each other and maybe start this journey again later if we don’t have an answer.”
  • That evening, Brandon and the ladies go bowling at Pinstripes. “Mom had let us know that she was the only person, she said, that was allowed to have bumpers up,” says Erin. “I figure since she’s over 50, that’s acceptable.”
  • Kelly is surprised at how competitive Michaela and Erin are with each other. “I do not like for Erin to beat me,” Michaela says firmly, but with a chuckle. “That’s terrible!”
  • After bowling, the three ladies stay up late into the night, but the finished product is worth it. Michaela loves her newly decorated house, which means Brandon is happy, too.
  • Back in Tennessee, Bobby goes to work with Chad to see about taking over his position at the metal recycling facility, in addition to helping out at the Bates’ church. Chad has been offered a job with a local builder, which is a field he has been interested in for a while.
  • Tori, Ellie, Addallee, and Callie come by to pick Bobby up at the end of the day. They make an ice cream run at The Chunky Monkey.
  • While they eat their ice cream, Tori asks Bobby when he is going to propose and if he has looked at rings. “Have you ever heard of a surprise before?” asks Bobby. They change the subject.

14 comments:

  1. As someone who suffered from infertility, these are the top patronizing and condescending comments that made me cringe, every single time:
    "It's God's will."
    "It will happen in God's timing."
    "Just trust in God."
    "Just pray about it."
    "You can always adopt."
    "Be grateful for what you have."
    "Has your husband been tested?"
    "You need to see my chiropractor, my nutritionist, my sister-in-law who used this method, etc., etc., etc."

    My message to Michaela and Brandon is: "I am so sorry that you are having to endure this struggle. I wish only the best for you both."



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    1. Good things to remember when I come across someone in a similar circumstance. I'm sure the people who made the comments were only trying to comfort... but just the same good to know that those phrases are likely not comforting!

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    2. I'll be honest. That's kind of mean to say these comments are "patronizing" and "condescending". Please tell us what people are supposed to say. If people say nothing, then you would be upset, too. I know infertility is very sad but I can think of dozens of worse things in life. Honestly not trying to be mean but just trying to give perspective. And this is coming from an orphan and only child who was single and did not even find a husband until almost 40 years old so my life has been no bowl of cherries but I NEVER say that someone is patronizing or condescending; I just think that they are trying to be kind and don't really know what to say.

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    3. Yes, and "you can have mine". If they hear that one, I would dare them to say, "okay, meet you in the adoption office". My words for them is, I'm praying for you. And I do; every time the subject of infertility comes up, or I hear of someone thinking of giving their child up for adoption.

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    4. 7:45 am... Sometimes people don't know the right thing to say if they've never had to face infertility. When I was in my 30s,married with 3 kids, I went back to school to complete my nursing degree. It was rough and I had no free time. There were 12 of us in the nursing class, all females. One of my classmates who was married, also in her 30s, was dealing with infertility. She was trying to organize a get together during our down time. I apologized and told her I couldn't make it because I already had something else planned with one of my kids. After that, she was nasty towards me for no reason. I was very hurt because I thought we were friends. A few months went by and I finally confronted her. She said just by me saying I couldn't get together after class because I needed to do something with my son was VERY HURTFUL to her because she couldn't have kids. She felt like it was a "dig" at her infertility. I was SHOCKED! i had no idea acknowledging I needed to get home to my kids was an insult or hurtful! My point is, sometimes others have no clue they've said the wrong thing! Or they don't know the right thing to say! Cut people some slack!

      Now, here's the rest of the story... Back then when I was in nursing school, I was a single mom, 3 kids, no child support payments, money was tight. I was jealous of my infertile classmate. She had a nice car, I had a junker, she had a nice home with nice furniture, I lived in a rental with bare bones furniture. Ran into my friend 10 years later. She was divorced and driving a junker car with 3 little kids in the back seat yelling and fighting with each other! She said her ex husband fell into drugs and didn't help support the kids. It was like we had switched places, except my kids were grown! I had the nice car, nice furniture and owned my own home. She was thrilled that she finally had kids and I was so happy for her I cried! I actually thought she had it made all those years ago, but I've learned, sometimes people don't have it as good as you may think! Be happy with what you have!

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  2. go bowling at pinstripes that place is super expensive? guess we know where they are renting in near that gothad church headquater?

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    1. Perhaps you could edit your comment so that it makes sense. Are those intended to be questions? What does bowling have to do with where they are renting? What is a "gothad church headquater"?

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  3. Loved this episode!!

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  4. Nice recap for Thurs 1/11/18. Lily & Ellie. Time 3:07PM

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  5. LOVE the new house! I feel for Michael. It took us awhile to get pregnant. Its hard to not get sad when your heart aches for a baby. You guys are a great couple. It is hard when everyone around you is pregnant, for me it was. Your blessing is coming. I finally stopped stressing about getting pregnant and it happened. For me I stopped taking my allergy med and motrin during that time. I found it can interfere with ovulation. Of course Im not a MD. God bless you two!

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    1. Yes they are saying things about ibuprofen now that it causes infertility in men so maybe also it does in women. It took us 2 years to conceive our first child and I took Motrin daily for headaches. I had terrible headaches for years after 2 car accidents. Now it makes sense. I now have 4 children and each conception was different. The time it took to conceive my kids was: 24 months, 15 months, 3 years, and 18 months in that order. So for some women it’s not instant. I am happy with my kids spacing: ages 8, 6, 2.5, 4-months. All 4 times I noticed I got pregnant when I was doing a lot of physical activity like amping up my exercising. Love you Michael and Brandon! You are truly blessed to have such a great love!

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  6. I go to this same pinstripes several times a month. Great happy hour bites and good prices for bowling/bocce. Do they have some expensive food items? Yes but everywhere does. Focus more on their hard times getting pregnant than the dinner

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    1. Thanks for the comment with some good perspective!

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