Friday, June 17, 2016

Recap: "A LOVEly Day"

Bringing Up Bates "A LOVEly Day"...
  • "As the family grows, its harder and harder to get everyone together, but the whole family will be coming home to celebrate “I Love You Day," and we’re excited about seeing everyone and being together” says Gil.
  • It’s Ashley’s first visit to the Bates home since she and Nathan started courting. Gil and Kelly take the couple out to eat. Nathan and Ashley take the opportunity to speak to Gil and Kelly about concerns with their relationship. “Over time it is clear that there are some opposites in personality, and I think at first we kind of overlooked it, and although I am confident in Nathan and I love him, these differences have concerned both of us I think” says Ashley, “We want to act appropriately, and we don’t want to just make a decision based on our emotions because it’s for life.”
  • Kelly and Gil encourage the couple and let them know that communication is key. “The courtship goal is to keep the physical and other parts on a check so you can really get to the deeper issues that relationships are really built on”, states Gil.
  • Tori has her eye on Bobby, a fellow who attends college in Florida. He is joining the Bates for Valentine’s Day. “I kind of felt sorry for Bobby, coming into this blindly, especially since he has two sisters and there’s like 20 of us," says Tori.
  • Alyssa, John, and baby Allie arrive from Florida, and Michaella and Brandon are in from Chicago. “I like being here and being married," states Michaella. "It’s better than being here and being single." Grandma and Grandpa Bates join the group, as well.
  • This year for Valentine’s Day the guys are cooking for the gals. “This is Sunday dress, so everybody put on your best," announces Kelly. "We’re going to have a lots of games; it’s going to be fun.  Oh It’s going to be sweet."
  • The kids draw names and exchange gifts with their siblings to help them connect which each other.
  • Erin and Chad come up with a unique way to let their family in on a secret.  They add a new name to Kelly’s handmade grandbaby quilt...Brooklyn. They are expecting a girl!
  • After a delicious Valentine’s dinner served by the males, the ladies of the family are serenaded with original Valentine’s songs.
  • “This, I Love You Day has topped every I Love You Day in the past," declares Nathan. "I can’t wait ‘til next year."

39 comments:

  1. I loved the show last night, it was great! I am a little confused, however, about it being Ashley's first visit since the courtship. Didn't she go home with the Bates for Christmas right after she and Nathan entered into a courtship on t.v. at the ice rink in New York? I think Bobby looks like a cute and sweet guy. Hooray for Tori.

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  2. I am not surprised at all that Ashley has some concerns. She is a city girl who loves NYC, while Nathan is a country boy who would not stop complaining about NYC. I cannot see Ashley wanting to leave her city for Tennessee. It's just too much of a culture shock. Also, why does the female almost always have to leave her home state for her husband? It's just not fair.

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    1. I would think its usually because the man is established in a job somewhere first. Yes, Erin and the girls worked per se, but not necessarily in a true professional setting of say, a law office or something to that nature.

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    2. Either way its not fair but I get where you are coming from. (Meaning it could also be and obliviously was a culture shock for Nathan as well)

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    3. My dad's motto was "A son is a son until he takes a wife, a daughter is a daughter the rest of her life." I moved halfway across the country to be with my husband and the first few years were very hard. It definitely isn't something to just assume you will get used to and adapt quickly because you love your spouse. The loss of family tradition and relationship is hard to deal with especially since you now are having to conform to new traditions that are largely based on his family. Women need more of those things than men, so I feel Ashley is very smart to consider these things now before marriage.

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    4. I think that we all have non-negotiables when entering a relationship. It's good to be up front about those, like Nathan was. Sometimes there are parts of our personalities that just come with us. Nathan loves living in the country, so he's like "this comes with me. You have to be okay with that." She could've said "you have to live in the city" but she didn't, which probably means she's willing to live elsewhere. She doesn't have to be with him...but if they love each other they both will make many sacrifices over the years.

      You can't play the "that's not fair" game in marriage. It's all about making compromises and coming to agreements. I have moved all over the country with my husband for his job. It has been impossibly tough but it is worth it to me because I love him so. Then, when I got really sick, he dropped his job (that had him out of the country) and has spent the last six months taking care of me and our family. No one has kept a tally...we just do what is necessary when the time comes. Love has required a lot of us. Sometimes it doesn't even seen worth it, but then we stick with it and it is SO worth it.

      Ashley and Nathan remind me of my husband and I. We were not the best suited match and we always fought a lot, but we fought hard to stay together as well. We have weathered every possible difficulty you can think of, and we still have our original flame. We laugh more, love more, and cry more than most. It's really fun and really hard. We love our relationship...but it's not for everyone to live like we have. Only Ashley and Nathan can decide if their love is enough to make their struggles worthwhile. For us, it has been.

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    5. Chad did move from OK to TN.

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    6. The problem is that Nathan, as good as a young man he is, seems a bit stubborn. It seems like he doesn't want to compromise, but simply to impose bis lifestyle. I can understand the job argument, but you can still find a compromise, especially since Nathan doesn't have a very specific job: as far as I know he works in tree cutting with his dad, so it's not like he's invested in a career that he studied hard for and is absolutely established in one place.

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  3. I think this was Ashley's second visit to the Bates' home since they started courting. When Nathan asked her to court while he was in NYC, he invited her to TN for Christmas, and she accepted.

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  4. This family is so sweet. I want a husband like one of the Bates boys.

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  5. Your show makes me smile. So much love in this family. Kelly and Gil show such respect to each other.No wonder the children are who they are. Love you guys!!

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  6. This is strange: Erin and Chad previously said that they revealed to their family that they were expecting at Valentine's day, not the gender (it would have been too soon to know the gender anyway).

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    1. Good point! I didn't see the episode. Maybe this was filmed later on, and they included it in this episode. It does seem strange, though.

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    2. The earliest time that you can find out a gender is 13 weeks. She was about three or three and a half months along in February so she certainly could have known.

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    3. Also most people find out around 17 weeks but I think she has more frequent checkups because of the nature of her pregnancies so she could have found out earlier then most.

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    4. They have blood tests performed for higher risk pregnancies around 10 weeks now that test for any issues, and these tests are able to tell you the gender with 99% accuracy. So her knowing at Valentine's Day is totally possible.

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    5. I didn't know that you could bave the test as early as 10 weeks!
      To be precise, though, she was barely 2 and a half months pregnant, not 3, since her due date is August 30.

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    6. I agree she probably found out at 10 weeks with a blood test, I know that's how Whitney found out the gender this time too (it was shown in one of the episodes).

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    7. Due dates are a two week window the baby could really be due two weeks early or late.

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    8. I was suppose to be born January 18 but I came 10 days early on Jan 8.

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    9. Of course due dates are time wondows, but it seemed strange to me that they could know the gender well over six months before said due date. ;) Now I know that you can have a blood test at 10 weeks, so that's fine, no problem. Let's not discuss about due dates, it's not really a matter in which you can have a million diffeent opinions...

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  7. This was such a sweet episode. It was good to see the whole family (as well as the "friends"). My heart broke a little for Ashley and Nathan, but God will be giving them peace about their decision. Wonder how they're doing now, since that was four months ago.

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    1. I don't think Ashley and Nathan are a good match. Ashley is a lovely, spunky full of life and love for people and her beloved NYC. Nathan ...well...just complained and is clearly not willing to try and integrate into Ashley's world at all. I think in time Ashley would resent such a restrictive lifestyle that would be imposed upon her marrying into this culture.

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    2. Although Ashley is conservative by NYC standards she is way more "worldly" than Bates standards just due to being raised in The City. Ashley loves her city--which is totally understandable as its a great City--but Nathan obviously doesn't even want to try to compromise and embrace any part of Ashley's life. I surely hope Ashley has not given up her culinary college or anything else to accommodate Nathan. This is a good example that attraction does not mean you are good partners for marriage.

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  8. Truly loved the episode. What a blessing to hear Chad & Erin are expecting a girl. Praying everything goes well during her pregnancy. God's got His hand on them. Blessings to all 😊

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  9. Have they ever explained why they don't call it Valentine's Day?

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    1. I think in another video they did.

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  10. I saw this coming all along. Nathan and Ashley are cute, but the personalities just don't mix. I'm sorry, but I see a break up in the near future.

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    1. Yeah, as much as they love each other, they come from two different worlds. Normally people could compromise and maybe spend a little time here and a little there, and also normally people from the country can't wait to move to the city.
      But given how strict Nathan seems to be about it, it seems difficult for them to find a compromise that wouldn't sacrifice Ashley and everything she is.

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    2. I do too. Nathan is just too country and plain for Ashley.

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    3. I dont think they should break up just because they come from different "worlds" I think they balance each other out but are still working on the word "balance" they share alot of the same goals for the relationship and similar morals. I think they're both fine with wherever God leads them but I hope their lead to be together. I do get what you mean but all couples deal with that. Not maybe to that extreme but comprise is something each person has to learn at some point if they want a relationship to last. And some things just aren't meant to be but that's okay as well.

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    4. Yeah, but Nathan doesn't seem to want to compromise..

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    5. One would think both of them like to do missionary so they could do that full-time and wouldn't have to decide for country of citylife. But I honestly hope this pulls them closer to God and they learn to figure out His will for they lives because He knows what's best.

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  11. Lily ellie, have Nathan and Ashley broke up? I was really predicting that from the beginning of their courtship.

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  12. I admire how the Bates are so honest and show the bad and good times on the show. You would never see the duggars voicing courtship concerns on the show..

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  13. I loved the episode but I fear something is going to happen between Nathan and Ashley...cause in 2 episodes from now the caption says that Nathan shares some unexpected news about the courtship!!! 😁 It will be sad if they break up. But whatever God has for their lives.. :)

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  14. I am thankful for the Bates family and praise God for their testimony to the world. I am wondering however, how their latest "courtships" are any different from the dating system of the world? They seem very comfortable using labels such as boyfriend/girlfriend, declaring their love for each other, showing physical affection, but without having the commitment of marriage. From the Bates family earlier appearances, this was something they desired to avoid.

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    1. We haven't seen them kiss or anything like that. They simply hug and hold hands,which I would say is a very conservative standard.

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  15. Tori has her eye on Bobby? Hmm... I think that Bobby has his eye on Tori too.

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