Monday, August 17, 2015

Marriage Advice for the Keilens

Four Bates weddings down and 15 more to go! Michael Bates married her sweetheart, Brandon Keilen, on Saturday afternoon. What marriage advice do you have for the Keilens as they start their new lives together?

Michael (Bates) Keilen and Brandon Keilen

Photo courtesy of the Bates family

85 comments:

  1. Congratulations Michael and Brandon.

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  2. I am Christian & do not hate the Bates at all. Actually I think they seem very warm & honnest people. But I would advise if I may to Michaella & her husband to not have many children.... Children are beautiful indeed, and it is often such a joy to be parents. Therefore I do not think as human, woman, mother and fully qualified nurse it is healthy for baby & mum to have dozen & dozen of kids. There is risk which need to be take into account. Also for family balance as well as budget, I am not sure all of us can have an extremely large family. Kids brings joy but there is also many others way as a couple to have good & constructive time together. So Brandon & Michaella, please no need to have a very large family! Actually you might be even more populaire & able to help your community if you do not have many, & many children.... Both of you seemsnice & giving people, & I wish with all my heart all the best. Pc Family from E.U.

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    1. They trust The Lord with every area of life including children! We trusted The Lord and He only gave us Two
      His ways and his timing is best ! It is a matter of faith! And who determines how many are too many? God!

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    2. How can you say that? The Bible is clear children are a blessing and Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them!
      I am expecting #10 and can't imagine life without each and every gift He has given me!
      That's horrible *advice*!

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    3. I am sorry ; I am not based in the US & I am not English is not perfect.... Iam not saying children aren't beautiful, it is certainly beautifull to have them. What I am saying as a nurse it is not always healthy to have multiple pregnancy. Not all women can do it. I am not hater & no intention to say " horrible" thing as you said.... Now if you wish to have plus 10 children or more, honnestly I am happy for you if this is your wish. I find a bit severe your comment.... Who are you to type this ? We do not know each other, but I am sure you are a good person... So please relax ! All the best from E.U.

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    4. That is bad advice. They trust in God with all they have. And God said the Be fruitful and multiply....will Be praying for a godly marriage and as many children as God blesses them with

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    5. Yes that is such a horrible thing to say. God is in CHARGE not you or any of us! If they have 25 children it will not cost us anything! ^^^ God bless you #10! If you can not help them please don't try to hurt them! The Lord said, "Be Fruitful and Multiply" not subtract and divide. God help you dear!

      God Bless Will Be Done In This Marriage! Amen.

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    6. Have as many children as you can afford to feed,clothe, educate, without help from anyone.

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  3. I wish you happiness for a lifetime. You need to remember to keep communicating and keeping God first.

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    1. Yes, keep communicating. It's very important. And when you disagree or when you have an argument, don't fret, it's all good. You are still communicating. And that is all that matters. Worry when you are not communicating. When there is silence. Fret and worry when communication has stopped and you don't know what the other person thinks or feels. Arguing is not always a bad thing. (About putting God first, I think you are already doing that).

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  4. Pray together every day. If you are blessed with children, raise them to love God with their whole hearts. Prayers and best wishes for you both!

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    1. Don't worry if you don't pray together everyday. My husband is a devout man but he is unable to pray with anyone.He is shy about it. This never affected his walk with God. He prays faithfully and has his private devotions. This doesn't affect our marriage. We do share our prayer list together. We do share our love for the Lord together. But not praying together.

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  5. Honesty and communication is key and don't ever harbor resentments. Always remember you are on each other's team. When the newlywed honeymoon stage wears off remember to keep courting each other and going on dates to stay connected. Also, I feel like people should wait to have babies, my husband and I have been married for 1 year and 3 months and we are still learning a lot about each other. It's important to spend time together and enjoy your new marriage before having babies.

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    1. When it comes to babies everyone must decide what is best for them. Some people marry and are eager to start a family together. My parents were very young. My father was just an 18 year old boy. They wanted a family right away. They remained married until the day my Dad died. My father loved being a Dad. They never regretted being parents so young. That is up to the couple. What is right for you, maybe wrong for someone else. Communication is very important. You need to talk things out. No two people think alike. You will disagree. Always share with your mate what you are thinking and what you are feeling. No matter what it is. Your spouse wants to know. Hurting? . They want to help you through it. Unsure about a work problem.? Let them listen and give to you their opinion. Never allow yourself to feel alone, that is why you had married. Keep no secrets.If something is troubling you in the relationship, talk it out. It can get resolved. Your spouse is your best friend.

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  6. I don't have marriage advice, I think their parents (and Michelle and Jim Bob) are awesome examples whom are already close by and they know. I just want to say to Michaella that I think you are a beautiful person from what I have seen thus far and I pray you joy, love, and happiness in your marriage. Congratulations to the both of you. May God bless you both abundantly.

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    1. Gil and Kelly are her parents. Michela is not a Duggar she's a Bates

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    2. I hope you won't mind if I tell you something, but Michael' s parents are Kelly and Gal Bates.not Michelle and Jim Bob. Michelle and Jim Bob are parents of the Duggar children.

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  7. Congratulations Michael and Brandon! Yall r so cute together! I went into a gas station yesterday and got to meet Brandon mom! Hope yall have a good life together and hoping to see pictures soon!

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  8. Just remember that everyone argues and it really is okay to go to bed mad... I was given the advice never go to bed angry but sometimes that just doesn't happen we're human... congrats to you both. My 2 year wedding anniversary is today...

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    1. You are so right! If you agree never to go to bed angry, be prepared for the occasional sleepless night. It can be more important to get a good night's sleep and you will find that things will be clearer in the morning.

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    2. You are so right about the "not going to bed angry" advice. Someone gave me that advice 43 years ago, and it was just as ridiculous then as it is today. Sometimes it's better to still say "I love you but don't agree with you," get a good night's sleep, and face the day rested and with a new perspective.

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    3. I think you should make it a rule never to go to bed angry. It s not good. It's an awful feeling to sleep with your mate and his back is to you. It hurts. Kiss each other good night, even if the problem hasn't been resolved. . You don't have to agree on every things but don't let anything divide you. Before going to bed, always kiss each other good night, don't forget . That says a lot. It says I still love you. And in the morning things usually appears brighter. Remember.

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  9. Make praying together a habit.
    Believe the best about the other and do not expect the worst.
    Your spouse is not the enemy.
    Live to out give the other!

    Congratulations on your marriage! Blessings to you both!

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    1. I liked that. Your spouse is no the enemy. Remember to be encourage one another. Don't sweat over the small things. Don't try to change each other. Love. Forgive. And Accept. No one is perfect.

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  10. Congratulations!! We wish you the Lords guidance and that you may start and end your day with bowed knees to ask for His presence and guidance. But above that you may learn to know Him only by Grace.
    Love, Wilma

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  11. Love God first, love each other second, and love your children third. If your children see you passionately in love with God, and passionately in love with each other, they will feel that life is stable, no matter the other circumstances.

    Also, let them see you disagree, compromise, and submit to each other. If there is no modeling of Christian disagreement, the children will not know how to deal with it later.

    Build a fence around your marriage, and let nobody into that inner circle except the two of you and God. You are now one (in flesh and in purpose), and that circle has to remain tight and private. Jokes, fears, emotions, goals, and dreams can be shared with others, but make sure that there are some completely private ones between the two of you as well.

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    1. I think children need to see love. The Love you have for each other and the love you have for them. You had wonderful role models, your parents. You are already ready to have a wonderful marriage. I doubt off you will have many problems.Do pray for a protection over you and your spouse and your children though.

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  12. Always keep your sense of humor and never let go of your dreams. May you have a lifetime of love and happiness.

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  13. Congratulations! I agree with the second comment, and respectfully submit the following article for the K's to consider, as well as anyone else who is interested:

    http://biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/blogs/2015/08/03/15-wisdom-principles-on-deciding-when-to-stop-having-children/

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  14. Congrats Michaella and Brandon. I predict that Michaella will be pregnant by October 6th 2015

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  15. Anonymous #2; and Michaella and Brandon:

    Having a large family (defined as 5 or more children) is a great service to society. I wrote a 30-page paper on the harmful effects the American feminist and anti-humanist movements have had on the American family. Two great books are: "What to Expect When No One's Expecting" by Jonathan Last (a parody of the book for expectant mothers) and "Merchants of Despair" by Dr. Robert Zubrin (an enlightening, but saddening history of anti-humanists' activities in America and abroad, including the illegal activities of Planned Parenthood).
    The world is far from being overpopulated - that term is a ploy designed to serve greedy people in power - and each child you have is one more doctor, teacher, farmer, etc. that can serve the world and produce more good than either Michaella or Brandon can do alone in their lifetime. The world is desparately in need of more children. If you don't believe so, read the above books and research the impact of the American abortion holocaust - just one example: social security will go bankrupt because there are not enough young people to support the aging baby boomers.

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  16. Always listen to God's voice, answer on the first call....seek first the kingdom of God...in all ways acknowlege Him, He will lead, guide and direct you!

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  17. First of all congratulations!
    Remember communication is the key be open and honest and never go to bed angry at each other, the Lord is going to be with you always.

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  18. Read the book and do the Bible study "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." It's great insight into the differences between how men and women think and handle problems. My husband and I did this Bible study after 10 years of marriage and we still learned a lot! It's fun too!

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    1. What ?! It's not biblical reading. Micheal and Brandon both come from large families. They have been around the opposite sex enough to know how they think and act.

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  19. never go to bed with anger on your heart or mind, always remember to say I love you before falling asleep, I wish you both a long healthy marriage, be blessed, love often and most of all, BE HAPPY

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  20. Never go to bed upset and keep God at the center. Congratulations and Good luck on your new life together as a married couple.

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  21. Never go to bed angry

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  22. 1. God first, then each other, then the kids.
    2. Don't neglect weekly date nights. Take turns choosing where to go/what to do.
    3. Read "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.

    Congratulations! Have a beautiful life together.

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    1. Excellent advice. Congratulations and prayers for a long healthy, happy marriage.

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    2. A question. That book you mentioned," 5 Love Languages" is it written on a biblical stand point ?

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  23. Keep Christ at the center of your marriage and you won't go wrong (which I'm sure you already do). Congratulations!!!!

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  24. Remember to keep God first!enjoy what u do in life together! Be blessed! Keep it strong and enjoy each other and family! U both are amazing and I hope and speak over u the best in life I send many more blessed years to u in Jesus name love y'all!

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  25. Wish you guy a Happy long married and happy life

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  26. Obey God rather than men, or women. Only God opens and closes the womb, the fruit of thr womb is His reward, not a punishment. May God bless you as you go forward together serving Him for His glory.Love and prayers from Texas!

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  27. Congradulations Michael& Brandon!

    I think you should have only 4 kids.

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  28. Always take time for each other even if and when you have children

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    1. I don't know if having a date night is essential in a marriage. My husband and I never went on " a date night". We could not afford it. We had no baby -sitter because we had no one to count on, we do not come from a large family. We had no one. It's ok. We have been married 30 years and my husband tells me often that he loves me more than the day he had married me. What was my secret? .I always gave my best to him. Be a good wife. And he will value you.

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  29. Congratulations!!! To always remember to put God first!¡! To communicate. To hel

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  30. I wish you a lifetime of health and happiness. Try to communicate openly, and look each other in the eyes when doing so. Remember, there is no problem in the world that your combined effort under God's guidance can not tackle!

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  31. Congratulations. My family and I would to wish you happiness and love for all eternity. No need to give you advise. You both have great examples to follow as your parents seem to know what they are doing. Just trust and follow God for He is the one to send you your soulmate.

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  32. I agree with the 2nd anonymous!

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  33. Congrats Michaella and Brandon! So happy for you and wish you joy always. #1 Pray for each other.#2 That marriage is a marathon. #3 Always remember the good things about each other and why you got you married if there are ever hard times.

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  34. I hope and pray for Michael and Brandon to keep God the center of their life everyday!:)

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  35. Marriage is not always a bed of roses, or maybe it is, but be prepared for the thorns. The best advice I ever got was the following: About seven years into the marriage you may wake up one day, look at your spouse and ask "Why did I ever marry this person". This is the time to look deep and find what you fell in love with the first time and let it happen again.
    The road is long and can have bumps but the end is worth it. I have been married for almost 40 years and love my husband in ways I did not on the day we were married, but still in all of the original ways. He is still the most handsome and loving man I know.

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    1. Always give your best. Be a team. Don't find fault. Overlook. Encourage and love with your whole heart.

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  36. I wish you both much happiness and always remember to pray together as a couple . There will be trials through out the marriage and you must trust each other . Trust and love are the most important things to have . You make an adorable couple and you can see the love in your eyes when you look at each other. May God Bless with many years of a happy marriage .

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  37. Make memories and keep Jesus at the center of your relationship!

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  38. So happy for you!! My advice would be work at putting the other person's needs first. Remember if you both give 100% to your relationship it will never stop growing and becoming stronger.

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  39. Don´t take your marriage to serious. I mean marriage is serious, but it´s fun too!

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  40. Congrads and keep God first and don't go to bed angry.

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  41. Hi I am Joy anna (yes sound familiar to someone else LOL!). I've been married to my hubby for 18 years and we have a 3 year old daughter. Here's my two cents ; )!
    Make your marriage a priority. No matter the size of your future family, make time for you hubs first. Stable marriage=stable kids...
    Men and Women are different, celebrate those psychological differences!
    Pray together daily, if not more. Great open doors for open communication!
    Don't feel as though you have to have a large family. Whatever God has in store for you!
    You can still date eachother! Every week in fact, maybe its just a walk around the block or a trip to subway and then the park.

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  42. Wishing you a lifetime of love,happiness and God's Blessings.
    Marion and Joan

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  43. What kind of marriage advice would I give? None. You had such wonderful role models, That helps a lot. Your parents guided you throughout your life all the way. They never failed you and I am.certain you will succeed in life. You will have no problems.

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  44. I will pass on to you both what my dear Mother passed on to me.

    " It is not always necessary to tell your spouse everything that you are thinking."

    I believe this piece of advise has saved more than a few marriages and Proverbs alludes to the same in several verses. May God bless you both.

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  45. can we please have pictures from the wedding??!!!!

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  46. There won't be 15 more weddings if don't all get married... :) and that would be TOTALLY ok!! Marriage isn't for everyone!
    They're an adorable couple tho and I wish them a world of happiness!!

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  47. Please post lots and lots of pics of the wedding when you can!! :)

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  48. Always to what each other have say about anything, love each other, and cherish every moment y'all have together... Always have a positive attitude and keep God in your heart at all times and never let him go... Without Him we are nothing and we need to be grateful with the companion He has blessed us with and never forget that... :-) God Bless

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  49. Compromise and accept each other as you are. Never go to bed angry and absolutely no nagging. Congratulations on your marriage!

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  50. Remember love is patient, love is kind.
    Keep Christ the center and most important relationship each of you have seperately and together and everything else will be added unto you.

    Be blessed!

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  51. Make each other laugh and smile, cherish the small things, talk. Never hold something in that needs saying ( it will just make things worse). Enjoy each others company but also remember to take a minute for yourselves. Live and love life and everything will work out for the best. Congrats!

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  52. Take the time to date each other at least once a week (even after the children come) to continue to get to know each other and not loose track of each other as a person.

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  53. I'm only 18 and, I'm not married, I'm not even in a courtship, but I congratulate the newly weds I cried looking at the wedding pics. I wish you both happiness. I may have some advice :) Never let a day go by without saying these 3 precious words to each other........I LOVE YOU! I know you two love the Lord, you keep loving Him,He will give you both more love for each other. God bless you and I love you soooo much. www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4_sfgjRcfI

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  54. Congratulations! My husband and I have been married 37 years. The secret to a long marriage is dedication, communication, love and the good Lord in your life. We have never had an argument, believe it or not, because we discussed all problems and dealt with them together. I'm not saying we didn't have our ups and downs but if you work together as a team, you will have a happy and successful marriage. We wish you much love and happiness in your marriage.

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  55. My advice? Always build up your spouse. Don't point out his/her failings before others (especially when joking around). Husbands have a very sensitive ego and respect means the world to them. Wives need to feel loved, so creative initiatives of showing that love means the world to them.

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  56. Don't get caught up in ideology. There is no perfect formula for marriage and family. What worked for your parents may not work as well for you. Keep the scriptures at the heart of your decision making, and be open to the Holy Spirit's leading (He may well speak differently to you than to someone else). Christ, commitment, compromise. It's a triple punch to anything and/or anyone who might attempt to derail your marriage. Oh, Brandon and Michael, I am so very happy for you. You are a beautiful couple and I pray God's very best blessings on your lives.

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  57. When I had gotten married I thought my husband should have all the fine qualities my father had, he did not. My husband thought I should have all the fine qualities of his mother, I did not. When we realized what we were doing we stopped. He will never have a perfect kept home and .I will not have a husband who will always be agreeable. But I do cook better than his mother.Ha. And he is more sociable than my father. Ha. So things worked out. Accept one another as you are.

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  58. It's sweet how many people want to help the young couple out with advice. I loved it. It's hard for me to say what made things work for my husband and I. When we were young we were madly in love. Then babies come. And more responsibilities. And things change. Your time and your love is now divided. A woman's desires to me a mother did filled but a man may feel left out. Remember, matter what, never forget to let your husband know he is still very important to you.I found little ways to let my husband know I loved him. It took a while for me.to learn this. I was so wrapped up in being a mother that was all I talked about. Didn't realize my husband wanted to hear more about us.

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